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Uthi udlalisa mntwana eTaxin bavele bathi

“Ukhuluma i English k’phela loyo



My White NEIGHBOUR has been standing on my fence shouting …… “Michael Wayne …. Michael Wayne … Michael Wayne” for the past hour. ……… Only to find out now that she was trying to say MAKHELWANE

As I’m walking home, I notice a lady breaking windows in a certain house here in Klarinet. Out of curiosity I start walking slowly to see what’s happening, the lady is shouting and throwing stones.

A door opens and a guy comes out trying to calm her down, I heard her say “Ya uhlalele loku la nalezfebe” the lady is causing a scene, the guy is trying to calm her down. Lapho mina sengmile ngbukele I wanna see ukuth iyophelelaphi. The guy is trying his level best to calm the situation and avoid more people starring at them.

The lady ran into the house, the guy remained outside holding his head. I tried getting in the yard to see what’s happening the guy shouted “Yeey ungasondeli nxxx izindaba ezingakfuni” lmao I walked back ngiswabile 😂😂

The lady came out with a knife and blood on her hands, the guy screamed “Haii Sbongile wenzeni” as he entered the house. Apparently the guy had a woman inside there, he wasn’t expecting his girlfriend to come vandag. Looking at how serious things could be, I decided to go in, sengamane sbambane mina nalomjita ngoba it’s serious now.

When I got in, Sbongile is fuming, swearing. She’s angry, she’s furious yooo. When I got inside the house, she stabbed the lady who was with her man, but nothing hectic just usikeke esandleni, I think she was trying to take the knife away from Sbongile and got cut.

I decided to go out, Sbongile took her bag and decided to leave, I called her to wait for me. I told her to calm herself down aye endlini and not take any rash decision. She told me she lives at Kriel and right now ama transport awasekho. Makashayisa espanini she wanted to surprise her boyfriend since it’s cold, she thought he’d appreciate that, little did she know that umjita une standby.

I felt sorry for her, decided to go with her edladleni lami uzolala in the spare room since seku late nama transport aphelile aya la abloma khona. On our way to my home we have a conversation, I let her speak her heart yaboo, ukuth abe grand ma@n ehlise istress.

When we got to my home, I told her to relax and not think too much. I ran her a hot bath yabo just to freshen up and calm her nerves. I went to the shop to buy vaslap for her. I came back, told her ukuth angangena daar ageze while I make her a cup of coffee. I gave her my girlfriend’s gown ukuth agcoke yona since she had nothing on her, her clothes are at her boyfriend’s place.

While she’s bathing and I’m making coffee, I heard a knock on the door. Went to open

“SURPRISE!!!!… SAY HI TO DADDY”

It’s my girlfriend nencosi 😭😭😭

Sbongile comes out of the bathroom wearing my girlfriend’s gown

Umona

US’thole kwakuyindoda ezihluphekelayo. Kwathi ngolunye usuku yakhetha ukuthandaza.

Ithi “Nkulunkulu ngiyahlupheka ngicela ungiphe nje okuhle.”

Nangampela uzwakale umthandazo wakhe kuNkulunkulu.
Amphendule u Nkulunkulu athi, “Cela noma yini oyifunayo, kodwa yazi ukuthi kukho konke ozokucela, ngizonika nomakhelwane wakho kuphindwe kabili.
Avume uSthole

Nangampela acabange ukucela imoto, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba nezimbili. Ayeke!

Acabange ukucela ibus, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba namabili.
Ayeke!

Acabange ukucela uR5 million we lotto, abuke ukuthi umakhelwane uzoba no R10 million.
Ayeke!

Athule, ecabange ukuthi angacelani nje.!

Abe esethi “Nkulunkulu ngicela ungikhiphe ihlo ( iso )elilodwa. Ezwakale esethi usuyokwenza njalo ke nakumakhelwane.

Ngikhuluma ngomuntu onomona akakwazi ukucela into ezomsiza ngoba ubheka ukuthi nomakhelwane wakhe uzoba nakho. Uncamela ukuphuma iso ngenxa yokuthi nomakhelwane awakhishwe omabili awakhe amahlo.

Akaphumeleli umuntu onomona kunalokho ulahlekelwa ilokho anakho.

Qaphela umona shlobo sami namhlanje!

Ungahlali nale msg idlulisele nakwabanye.

Ubaxwayise ngomona ungasizakali wedwa ngoba wangaydlulisa uzobe unomona sengzohlala phasi ngdedele ofakazi wangafakaza ngalendaba kyobe unomona ngcela inkosi ibusise enikzwile amen

Ameni


I Village yase Mzola neyase Dandanda zenza umqhudelwano (competition) yokuphuza utshwala, ukuthi abobani omakoya bokuphuza. One week before kuqale icompetion iVillage yaseMzola ithume uNyaa ukuthi ahambe ku Village yase Dandanda ayobuza if they are ready for iCompetion.
uNyaa ma efika khona vele athole kuphuzwa. Bemnikeze u 25litre wotshwala basemakhaya (amasese) uNyaa ashaye u25litre awuqede in 1 hour!!! Bamangale abantu base Dandanda ukuthi ukhona umuntu ophilayo ongaphuza 25 litres yotshwala ayiqede!!!!
Abase Dandanda: (babuza beyethuke kakhulu) “Hayi bo Nyaa, uphuza 25litre wayiqeda! Nawe are you part of iteam yase Mzola esizo compete nayo?”
Nyaa: (ezihlekel) “Cha chaa chaa bafethu, mina ngihluliwe kuma Primary Competition, I could not make it to the competing team”

Some girls ahlulwa izitabane ngobuhle ebese ecath ungabanga indoda nestabane khohlwa “oe”


Ngeke uhlebise okwalabo cc base saloon jst comment if ngina manga✊


White: I love my boyfriend his name is John Smith he alwys make me happy

Black: Whuuuuuu shame ngaze ngamkhumbula bbe wam kuth anghlanye uyazazi yena igama lakhe

Lento oyibiza ngendoda yakho ifake uDye oBlonde😓 ekhanda ci ai uzoba strong ngane yabantu

December is such a problematic month 😩 . Ungaz’thola udakiwe , uhleli ka Shembe thinking it’s an all white themed party


Ma 2000 ayahlupha…
°° °° °°
Wadlula eceleni kwawo uzowezwa athi:
“Lona ukhona kuFacebook wam”


Ngangena ku FB kwanuka
nje😓khona

SENZO :Abasanensila
ka 2017

Cabanga nje uBae uphezu kwakho
“dluvu”
iStina Sombhede


Now that you are sober, probably broke, likely in debt & the only thing that you are able to PAY is attention, I can now safely say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
If you need help with transport money, school fees, stationary, uniforms and even rent money. Please SMS “OMUNYE PHEZU KOMUNYE” to 31314. Angithi yiyo ebikuhlanyisa usidla imali.

Isbindi is when you drink Vodka that has a higher percentage than your matric school result you got 29% in English but you drinking Russian Bear 43% haibo you’re ambitious yaz

Lifike lincelwe ingane encane ibele nithule

Ebese lincelwa indoda sewuyahayiza ey ngoba nina ave ni actor kamnand!!