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Jonathan Leave a comment

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does
your cow produce?

Farmer: which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer : Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The Black one or the. White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer : In the Barn

Interviewer: And the White one?

Farmer: In the Barn also

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy… What do
you feed them?

Farmer: which one..black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: (Annoyed) but why do you keep on
asking if black one or white one when answers
are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Its also mine.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nigga 1 Comment

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck

Tech Support 😆😆😆😆
Sargent Godwin 1 Comment

Imagine dating someone who likes going to church
but he/she don’t even know the type of wood
they used when crucify Jesus🤦
Jonathan 1 Comment

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not …the same hat!” “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: “Okay, I give up. What’d you do with the ship ?”
Preet Singh Leave a comment

When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mum home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mum and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably. “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.

The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.” 👏🏻🤣😂🤠
Preet Singh Leave a comment

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I’ll explain later.”

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would”ve seen a great pair of balls. I don’t want to go to Ukraine either.”
Sipho Leave a comment

When it comes to holding grudges,
I don’t disappoint my dear.😏
#blacklegend
Sipho Leave a comment

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone
until it stops working 😂
Magret Leave a comment

Find the single one
👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫

Couldn’t find? Because is you
Bigmoh Comedy 224 Leave a comment

THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IS FROM CEO OF SUGAR DADDY

To let all girls know that all sugar Daddy are on strike 🙈🙊🙉😂😂😂
Sunshine 1 Comment

Not every girl who puts a wig is beautiful
some look like retired Indian Evil Spirit*👌😂😂
Princess Leave a comment

No English distionary has able to explain the different between finished and complete
When u marry a good wife u are complete and when u marry a wrong one u are finished but when ur wife catches u with another girl u are completely finished
But when u marry a wife that like shopping u finished completely
Gift Leave a comment

I don’t know why, Every School Has That One
Teacher/Lecturer Who Dress Like They Don’t Earn
Salary.😂😂😂😂
Ogahjoe's Firms Leave a comment

She asked me credit,I replied “seriously I don’t have Now I could help you”
She’s now asking if she can use her money,so I refund her back,am confused guys 🤣🤣😂😂🤔
Ogahjoe's Firms Leave a comment

Just imagine if we were all naked just like animals
Guess what 🙄🤭
Too much Horny
😲🤣😂🤗