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English Funny Status

Parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not …the same hat!” “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table!” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything, it was the captain’s parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: “Okay, I give up. What’d you do with the ship ?”


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    Miraj kandel : Hi

    1 Comment
    English Funny Status

    Howard

    When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.

    A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mum home?” said the farmer.

    “No, they went to town.”

    “How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

    “No, he went with Mum and Dad.”

    The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

    “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably. “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.

    The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.” 👏🏻🤣😂🤠

    5


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    English Funny Status

    Russia vs ukraine

    A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt, I’ll explain later.”

    The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

    The nun replied, “He went that way.”

    After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”

    The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would”ve seen a great pair of balls. I don’t want to go to Ukraine either.”

    2


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    English Funny Status

    grudges

    When it comes to holding grudges,
    I don’t disappoint my dear.😏
    #blacklegend


    5


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    English Funny Status

    upgrading my phone

    I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone
    until it stops working 😂


    ਰੋਜ਼ਾਨਾ ਨਵੀਆਂ ਕਹਾਣੀਆਂ ਪੜ੍ਹਨ ਲਈ ਇੰਸਟਾਲ ਕਰੋ "ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਕਹਾਣੀਆਂ" ਐੱਪ :

    4


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    English Funny Status

    single one

    Find the single one
    👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫

    Couldn’t find? Because is you

    17


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    English Funny Status

    SUGAR DADDY

    THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IS FROM CEO OF SUGAR DADDY

    To let all girls know that all sugar Daddy are on strike 🙈🙊🙉😂😂😂


    16


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    English Funny Status

    retired Indian Evil Spirit

    Not every girl who puts a wig is beautiful
    some look like retired Indian Evil Spirit*👌😂😂

    6
      Elma Estigoy : Love stories

      1 Comment
      English Funny Status

      finished

      No English distionary has able to explain the different between finished and complete
      When u marry a good wife u are complete and when u marry a wrong one u are finished but when ur wife catches u with another girl u are completely finished
      But when u marry a wife that like shopping u finished completely


      ਰੋਜ਼ਾਨਾ ਨਵੀਆਂ ਕਹਾਣੀਆਂ ਪੜ੍ਹਨ ਲਈ ਇੰਸਟਾਲ ਕਰੋ "ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਕਹਾਣੀਆਂ" ਐੱਪ :

      14


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      English Funny Status

      Salary

      I don’t know why, Every School Has That One
      Teacher/Lecturer Who Dress Like They Don’t Earn
      Salary.😂😂😂😂


      13


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      English Funny Status

      refund

      She asked me credit,I replied “seriously I don’t have Now I could help you”
      She’s now asking if she can use her money,so I refund her back,am confused guys 🤣🤣😂😂🤔

      8


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      English Funny Status

      Too much Horny

      Just imagine if we were all naked just like animals
      Guess what 🙄🤭
      Too much Horny
      😲🤣😂🤗

      8


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      English Funny Status

      Adidas

      👧: Why does this Adidas have 4 lines!?🙄👀

      👳🏾‍♂️: 1 line Mahala For you my friend.


      9


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      English Funny Status

      Rat

      I thought sleeping naked was fun until I was circumcised by a 🐀Rat
      😥🙄

      9


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      English Funny Status

      Taxi

      I took a Taxi 🚕this morning to town🏙 although I knew very😥 well that i don’t have money to pay . When we stopped at a robot I quickly got out of the taxi and fled away 🏃🏽‍♂️
      Unfortunately there was a police 👮‍♂️officer inside the taxi ,he got out and 🏃🏽‍♂️chased me in my zigzag run I managed to get some distance but the police was catching up .he took out his gun and shouted Freeze !! I stopped running and raised my hand to surrender. The👮‍♂️ police pointed his gun on me and say Bro Just keep on running so that I can keep on chasing you i also don’t have money to pay the taxi driver🚕😤😤😤

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