English Funny Status

Selibona Nyaa says:

Selibona Nyaa says:

If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of “buy one get one free”!
2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman’s upper body starts with a “B”. Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a “P” Peticoat, panties, pussy…No wonder men suffer from high B P!
3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you’re screwed.
4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.
5. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
6. 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘HANDSOME’, don’t take it as a compliment!
7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband’s dick hard, not his life..!
Now that I’ve educated. you, go ahead and educate someone else.
When a lady is pregnant,all her friends touch her stomach ad say “Congrats!”.But none of them come and touch the man’s Penis and say “Well done!”
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters.

English Funny Status

Joke of the day

What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?

Great Thought in Modified Version….

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.

Sometimes u enjoy TV.
But most of the time, u play with ur MOBILE.

TV is (as good as)free for life.But for the MOBILE, if you don’t pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old.
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable.
But for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.

TV has a remote.
But MOBILE doesn’t.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen)
But with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!!!!😝

Last but not least….!
Yet TV s are superior because
TVs don’t have viruses, but MOBILEs often do….!!!!😂

And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen.

Take Care.
Issued in Public interest!😃
.😂.😂.

For security reasons, I finally chose TV.

English Funny Status

cute

When you’re ugly they call u a stalker
but when you’re cute
they call you a secret admirer…

English Funny Status

blankets

Black parents will let you freeze all night in bed
with one blanket because
other blankets are for visitors..

English Funny Status

paying for wine

Does anyone here know the prayer that
Jesus used to turn water into wine🍸🍷….

That prayer is needed so that can stop paying for wine😂

English Funny Status

Maggie

Husband : Julie, get ready fast. We are getting late for the party
Wife : I am Julie not Maggie to get ready in 2 minutes

English Funny Status

So now i got it!!!

Rest in peace winnie mandela.
Sorry i have posted this too late.
But its not too late because the time you died
i didnt have a phone. So now i got it!!!

English Funny Status

sleeping style

All beautiful girls have got kids…..!
If you want to marry a beautiful girl be ready to be a step father!!!!!!

Morning single guys and with this winter
you all have that one sleeping style

English Funny Status

10 count

Teacher: tell 1 to 10 count
Student: 1,2,3,4,5,7,8,9,10
Teacher: where is six
Student: Sir was telling in TV that 6 deaths in swine flu

English Funny Status

Any Side Effects.

An Economist Beautifully Explained Reasons For Having Two Wives.

1. Monopoly Should Be Broken.

2 Competition Improves The Quality Of Service.

3. If You Have 1 Wife, She Fights With You. But If You Have 2 Wives, They Will Fight For You.

Feel The Difference & Decide.

Note: Sender Not Responsible For Any Side Effects.

English Funny Status

Two Rules Of A Man’s Life:

Two Rules Of A Man’s Life:

1. They Never Flirt With Any Unknown Lady.

2. They Never Consider Any Lady Unknown.

Two Rules Of A Women’s Life:

1. They Flirt By Showing They Are Serious About You.

2. They Never Consider Anyone Seriously.

English Funny Status

Bathroom

Define A True Music Lover?

A Girl Singing In The Bathroom While Taking The Bath,

And Boy Near Keyhole Is Using His Ear Not Eyes.