English Funny Status


A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

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English Funny Status

take a clean pot

Two single boys living away from home were talking among each other….

First -: “have you ever used a ‘ Recipe-book ‘ to make cooking..??”

The second boy :- “brought two-three, but the first step of making any recipe is the most difficult..!!”

First boy :- “which one..??”

Second boy :- *”take a clean pot..!!”*

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English Funny Status

workers by their old titles*. .

Stop calling workers by their old titles*. .
*Please address them by using their new titles accordingly and not only will they like it but they will even work for you HARDER than before for the same pay. They will stick to your company and will never ever leave you. Just try!*

OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive*

OLD: *Gardner*
NEW: *Plant nutritionist*

OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission technician*

OLD: *Car Cleaner*
NEW: *Vehicle Image Developer*

OLD: *Water Pump Operator*
NEW: *Aqua line Executive*

OLD: *Lift Operator*
NEW: *Vertical Movement Specialist*

OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Executive*

OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*

OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*

OLD: *Telephone Operator*
NEW: *Communications Executive*

OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*

OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*

OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Technician*

OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*

OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Executive*

OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Specialist*

OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*

OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestic Management Executive*

OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Technician*

OLD: *Gossiper* (my wife)
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Executive*

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English Funny Status

Comedy of errors :

Comedy of errors :

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife. he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message she fainted. The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:
‘to my loving wife, i know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I ‘ve just been checked in. How are you and the kids? The place is really nice but am lonely here. I have made necessary arrangement for your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can’t wait to see you.

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English Funny Status

office key.

Spiritual problem is when you walk 10km to work just to get there and realize that the office key is at home, so u bottle up all the emotions this time n walk back home leaving d heavy bag at the office doorstep. On getting home, now the house key is actually in the bag you left at the office doorstep, so you boil up a lil bit but work must go on! so u walk back to the office, pick up the bag angrily and make your way back to the house. On getting home you dip your hands into the bag and see the office key.

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