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second child?

Rich’s wife was pregnant

Wife: “darling, guess what?☺

Rich: “what?”😶

Wife: “I went for the scan today and the scan revealed that I’m pregnant with a set of twins”😊☺😊

Rich: “Really? Two babies??”😨

Wife: “so who’s the father of the second child??

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They had eggs

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.”

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replied, *”They had eggs.”*

(I’m sure you’re going back to read this again as this is the root of most marriage problems!!)

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Z is for Zuma

Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken…
Pastor: Praise The Lord
Congregation: Hallelujah
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon…
Pls Have Ur Debit Cards Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings….
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password: Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker
Church Secretary: Dis Week’s Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don’t Miss Out …
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT…
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don’t Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube… God Bless us….
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will learn their ABC. A for Apple won’t be useful anymore…. Instead:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera Mini
P is for PicMix
Q is for QuickTime
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo
Z is for Zuma

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son took his old mother to a restaurant for a dinner. Mother being very old and weak, while eating, she dropped food on her dress. The people in the restaurant watched her in disgust while her son was calm. After she finished eating, her son who was not at all embarrassed, quietly took his Mom to the wash room, wiped the food particles, removed the stains, combed her hair and fitted her spectacles firmly. When they come out, the entire restaurant was watching them in dead silence, not able to grasp how someone could embarrass themselves publicly like that. The son settled the bill and started walking out with his Mother. At that time, an old man amongst the people who were having dinner, called out to the son and asked him, “Don’t you think you have left something behind?”. The son replied, “No sir, I haven’t”. The old man retorted, “Yes, you have! You left a lesson for every son and hope for every Parent”. The restaurant went silent. One mistake one should never EVER make. Being ashamed of your parents. Too many people are too quick to upload a picture of someone they just met a week ago on Social Media, but ashamed of showing the world a picture of someone who carried them for 9 months. To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors. We all know, how our parents cared for us for every little things. Some went as far as selling Tomatoes so we can get a better education, and today we are ashamed of them. We don’t want to walk with them in public. BE PROUD OF YOUR PARENTS

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released from jail.”

I talked to a to a homeless man this morning
and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was released from jail.”

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