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*Three fastest means of communications:*
1) Telephone
2) Television
3) Tell a Woman.
Still need faster communication ??
Tell her NOT to TELL anyone !!

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Facebook Friends : 5000.
Real Friends : 20.
Hard Time Friends : 2.

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If you send her R29 Vodacom airtime and she sends you a please call,
my brother marry that chick she knows how to budget !!!

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School Trip…
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Whites: Apple, Juice & R100
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Blacks: Full Chicken, Sandwich, Fridge, Stove,
Geyser, Mogodu, Half skop, Achar & R200

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It hurts a lot when you trust someone
blindly…….
AND that someone proves that you are actually blind ! !

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A real wife will sleep on the floor when his Husband
brings the side chick home

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No1:
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife’s nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning.

No 2:
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, “so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.”

No 3:
A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said “sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!”

No 4:
Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: “What are you doing?” Ask the son. Father: “I’m putting petrol in your Mom.” Son: ” Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane just put some in yesterday!” Mother fainted!!!

No 5:
A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, “You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn’t pay.

No 6:
An 8 year old boy is accused of rape. In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, “Your Honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?”The boy whispers, “Don’t shake it, we’ll lose the case!”

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*My friend invited me to a wedding and while sitting I whispered to a person sitted next to me:*

*ME* the bride is ugly..
*PERSON:* if you dont mind, thats my daughter
*ME:* ooh am sorry I didn’t know you are the father..
*PERSON:* idiot am not the father, am the mother..
*ME:* heeeh

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Stop looking for friends and smile
do you think people will be friending you while you dont smile

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Never Mess Around With Ugly girls Bruh
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They Are So Fertile,
Once You Kiss Her Boom!! She’s Pregnant

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When i was in a taxi just saw my crush. I decided to stay calm because i had fever and my nose was blocked because of flu. I didnt want her to see me that im breathing like fish😂😂😂😂….! Guess what happened??…
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Boom there goes a baloon from my nose

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That moment when you just lost a fight and when you get home you start thinking about all the kung fu moves you could’ve used

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I dreamed my ancestors singing (asiphelelanga)
I had to wake up quickly before they mention that who left

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I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me.
She calls me her sixty second lover.

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