Ladies, imagine dating a guy that expects you to date him alone,
some guys are selfish
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I’ll Never Forget That Day I Visited My Ex And I Was Served Rice And Chicken
While I Was Eating, Their Dog Kept On Moving Up And Down, Looking At My Face
I Told The Younger Sister” It Seems Your Dog Likes Visitors” And The Girl Replied” No , It’s Because You’re Using It’s Plate ” 😭😭 how could she do that to me ?
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When I was a small boy my grandmother use to call me
my boy friend playing with my some thing,
but when I matured she started calling me my grand son
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Nyaa and Ngena ,2 children were sitting outside a clinic.
Ngena happened to be crying very loud,
“Why are you crying?” Nyaa asked.
“I came for a blood test.” sobbed Ngena
“So are you afraid?” asked Nya.
Ngena then replied,”For the blood test they have to cut my finger.”
As Nya heard this,he immidiately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Ngena asked Nyaa,”Why are you crying now?”
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Nya then replied,”I came for a urine test.”
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Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
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Once all the engineering
professors were sitting in one
plane Before the take off One
announcement came “this
plane is made by your students
” then all professors stood up,
ran and went outside, but the
principal was sitting. One guy
came and asked ” are you not
afraid ” then the principal
replied ” I trust my students
very well and I am sure the
plane won’t even start “
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Hi guys. I lost my phone with all your contacts. Please DM me with your full names and surname, your number, ID number, certified ID copy of your parent, gender, email address, certified copy of proof of residence and your ID photo.
Thank you.
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SHORT TEXT THESE DAYS
Boy: Imu (I miss u)
Girl: mum (miss u more)
Boy: u sure?
Girl: yh trumu ( yaaaaa truly miss u)
Boy: trumutu (truly miss u too)
Girl: trumudi (truly miss u die)
Trumutumtum…truly miss u too much too much
Trumucorcor…truly miss you correct correct
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Facebook should just Introduce Voice Notes, We are Losing Some Arguments because we can’t💔 Spell Some Words..!
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Who ever bought
my grandmother a calculator saying
its a phone pray we don’t meet
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A New Born Baby Ask To Nurse: “Can I Use Your Mobile Phone?”
Nurse: “Why?”
Baby: “Actually I Want To Tell The God I Am Land Safely To The Earth, Now Arrange A Girlfriend For Me And Dont Forget To SMS Me Her Address“
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How many times does the number “9” appear between 0 and 100?
I bet some people will get this wrong…
Whoever got it right i will like his/her comment
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A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and… asked how long it took to catch them.
“Not very long” they answered in unison.
“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life.”
The tourist interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?”
“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long would that take?”
“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.
“And after that?”
“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”
“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is:
Know where you’re going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.
“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”
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Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes,
but when we look back,
everything is different.
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I went to a restaurant …
All the couples were seated there and no place for me to sit
I took out my mobile, placed near my ear and said loudly –
Bro come fast to this restaurant, she is seating here with someone else.
9 girls stood and ran away ..
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Top 10 Female rejection lines.
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1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.😅
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.😁
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.😋
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?🤗
5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.😊
6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.😊
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.😂
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.🤗
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.😊
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.😊
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Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
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1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅
4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅
7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.😁
9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂
10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.😅
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