Av been using water mixed with salt to drive away soldier ant in my room, since i don’t av money to buy otapia-pia. Instead of them to leave my room, the leader of d soldier ant told me to also add Maggi, so that d water will be more tasty
Loading views...
Nobody Hates You Like A Girl
Who Wants Your Boyfriend!!!
Loading views...
There are only two times that I want to be with you.
Now and Forever.
Loading views...
When your plan doesn’t work,
don’t take too much time to think about it.
Make another plan.
Loading views...
Banta and his girlfriend have a chat at a romantic dinner.
Girlfriend: “Will you love me even after marriage Banta?”
Banta looks around in surprise and says,
“If your husband agrees then yes I surely will.”
Loading views...
When you’ve put your friends on speaker and you tell them
you with Your Bae and they ask WHICH ONE??
Loading views...
Couples are busy chasing money together but
you and your baboon are still arguing who is gonna text first……
You are still saying that well doing families
have got snakes to steal money
Loading views...
Being single for a long period of time is
dangerous. Once you see how peaceful it
is, you don’t even wanna deal with people.
Loading views...
“Nyaa was the only black man on a cruise ship that was about to sink.He was the toilet cleaner on that ship.
The white people looked among themselves for someone to pray but no one wanted to as everyone was scared!”
With tears in his eyes,the ship captain seddenly spotted Nyaa.He pointed his finger at him and shouted,”You! Pray For Us!”
Afraid,He would be punished for not listening,Nyaa agreed and started his prayer with confidence..
“Lord,as I was boarding this ship,it said “Whites Only!”
When I wanted to use the Bathroom,the sign said,”Whites Only!”
When I went to the Tables for food,it said,”Whites Only!”
So Lord, as this Ship is about to sink,I pray that the same rule apply..
“Amen!”
Loading views...
May your feet take you….
Where your heart wants to go
Loading views...
The story behind “ladies first”:
Long ago, a man ‘n woman were madly in love.They wanted to get married but their parents didn’t approve.So they decided to kill themselves.They thought the best way to do it was to leap off a cliff…The man couldn’t bare to see his sweetheart fall before him.. so he convinced her he would go first, and he jumped..
.
.
.
.
.
But that bitch never did..
Loading views...
With all due respect for the
LAWYERS
A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to re-occupy the home.
He was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie…. “WE ALL KNOW”…lawyers cannot and do not lie. (?????)
So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.
He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked: “How many children do you have?
He answered: “Twelve.”
The agent asked “Where are the others?”
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”
MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie. One only has to choose the right words… And don’t forget, unfortunately most politicians are lawyers.
Loading views...
When you drive carrots rich street a guy comes walking up to you and says he is very poor so you give him $20 and the guy goes to the the shop and sees the price for the pizza per box is $20 and he buys 222 boxes of pizza and goes to his palace.
Moral:always look at the streets name or else the donkey will kick you in the face
Loading views...
ways to die in Africa
1.loosing your mom’s Tupperware during school trip 😕
2.eating the meat that was reserved for your father😕
3.taking out new faduku without your mom’s permission😕
4.using glasses and cups that are placed in room divider😕
5.admitting that you are 3yrs older in a taxi and your Mom end up paying full price😕
6.not going to your room when sex scene is shown on generation 😕
7.calling your mom by her name by mistake😕
8.not finishing your pap after you have eaten the meat😕
9.wearing weekend clothes during the week😕
the list still go on
Loading views...
Did you hear the one about the guy who invented the knock knock joke😶……
in fact he won the no bell price
Loading views...
People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway
Loading views...
