Learn from yesterday,
live for today and hope for tomorrow.
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Make the impossible possible ,and always belief
what god can do for in fixture.
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If a baby born in the morning is called Monica, Evening – Evelyn, on the floor – Florence.
What do we call a child born in a car?
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I was sitting on the bus, then i tapped the lady in front of me and said “Excuse me, I think you have some ejaculate on the back of your jacket”. She looked around shocked and said “Oh! No, it’s probably just yoghurt from my breakfast”. “No no” I said….I don’t ejaculate yoghurt”.
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Just in case no one told you today,
you’re ugly
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I thought agriculture was easy until they asked me 5 types of waters
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THE THREE COMMANDMENTS OF CHRISTMAS:
1. If you can’t affhord NEW CLOTHES, wear the ones you already have. It’s JESUS’ birthday and not yours. You mustn’t ‘out dress’ the celebrant.
2. If you can’t afford the kind of FOOD you want, eat what you have and move on. If you don’t tell people what you ate, no one knows. ‘belle no get show glass’.
3. If you don’t have the means to TRAVEL, stay where you are. JESUS wasn’t born in your village afterall. And your village isn’t the appointed place for His birthday celebration either. Any villager who is desperately bent on seeing you, should come look for you where you are.
Of all the things he said, “Do in remembrance of me”, CHRISTMAS wasn’t one of them.
Take life easy and don’t stress yourself.
Just my advice😍🥰♥ Wishing you all Happy New year in Advance🌲
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A man had four sons from different mothers☺
Brodwel,Kenneth,Conrad & Dominic
Now these guys asked their father why he
gave em those names,n what do they mean😐?
The father replied:
Take the first three letters of your names and
join em together you will find the answer
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When the devil wants to destroy you he uses your friends. And when God wants to promote you He uses your enemies. If it wasn’t because of our friends our enemies wouldn’t know our secrets. In life we need to be more careful about friends more than enemies. Most rats die with food in their mouths thinking someone is feeding them yet someone is killing them in form of feeding them. There are friends who help you in life so that it will be easy for them to destroy you later. Abraham went on a journey with Lot. God was silent until they separated then He spoke to Abraham again. At times its the friends around you that push God away from you. Check your friends before they push you into destruction. Be wise*_
This is the most serious ADVICE in 2019
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SOME GIRLS BE LIKE “I want a man who can
protect me” But They have already rejected 12
security guards .My sister what do you really
want, electric fence?
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One of the best things in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still loves you and wants to be a part of all the craziness ..
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People fall in love at inbox and crying after breakups on facebook
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Just Gave a Fat Woman Wrong Directions
Hayi She Needed Some Exercise
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Happiness is not a choice, satisfaction is. Happiness is something that happens to you when you’re not seeking it. Just like love. It hits you like a wave in the most unexpected moments. Satisfaction is being happy with whatever you have even if it’s not exactly what you want now. Satisfaction is peaceful.
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I’ve just killed a mosquito that bitten Me 5 years Ago 😬
.
That N*gga thought I forgot his face
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Do’nt count the days,
Make the days count.
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