If u are taking your girlfriend out and she carry her friends along just take them straight to church and register all of them for deliverance. They are witches!
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That awkward moment you are playing ‘Spin the bottle’ and it points to your crush and she says “hay Yoh!!, Ngeke (nope can’t be)!!! . . . spin again”…😀
Be with someone who wont stay mad at you,
who cant stand not talking to you,
and whos afraid of losing you
Witchcraft is when you work at SPUR and your ex come with his new girlfriend on her birthday
n you have to sing her
One Day You Will Want To Inbox Me
But I will Be Married
So Please Use This Time Wisely
people will push you to your limits, and when you finally explode and fight back, suddenly you’re the bad person
Most of You Write
Congrats because You
don’t know how to write
“Congrajuleshions”
Instead of wiping away your tears,
wipe away the people who made you cry
Before you get serious with a girl ,
take her to the club to see how many guys know her .
*If the bouncer hugs her , run away my brother*
Nobody cheats like a Guy who always respond with
“Prblm is u don’t trust me”… To ur accusations
{If you’re a 35+ Man}
It’s time to leave these young girls alone..
Get a woman who understands the signs of stroke and diabetes..!
He cried that day,all day ,all night…
She cried too sadly all her life….
Once An Indian And An American Both Were Friends.
They Both Went Into A Chocolate Store.
Everybody Is Busy In The Store So American Steal 3 Chocolates And Put Those In The Pocket.
Both Came Out From The Store Then American Said: “Man, I’m The Best Thief Ever, I Stole 3 Chocolates And No One Saw Me, You Can’t Beat That.”
Indian Replied: “This Is Nothing, You Wanna See Something Better, Lets Go Back To The Shop And I Will Show You Real Stealing.”
So They Went To The Counter And Indian Said To The Shop Boy: “Do You Wanna See Magic?”
Shop Boy Replied: “Yes, Of Course.”
Indian Said: “Give Me One Chocolate Bar.”
Shop Boy Gave Him One, And He Ate It.
Indian Asked For The Second, And He Ate That As Well.
Indian Asked For The Third, And Finished That One Too.
The Shop Boy Asked: “But Where Is The Magic?”
Indian Replied: “Check In My Friends Pocket, And You’ll Find Them.”
You Can’t Beat An Indian.
*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR
MATHS EXAMS*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have
dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy
spending on her like there is no tomorrow.
eventually she drops you and concentrates on
her innocent husband. Calculate the
percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife
and she gave it to her husband. Using
trigonometric identities, derive a general
formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies
and every lady is demanding for a Samsung
Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices
of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future
poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against
volume of apologies to your family members.
*(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking
other people’s wives yet you don’t want to see
your wife on the social network. Calculate the
Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *
(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a
petty trader, your combined household income
is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is
awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s
and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each.
Calculate the Percentage of your Parental
Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and
you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use
the law of diminishing Return to calculate the
substance that will be left for your husband to
enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife N10,000 for a
pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in
bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take
π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
8.* You have been in the church and in your
fellowship for years but your name is not in
the book of LIFE because of the secret sin.
Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? *
(30 mark)*
_*BEST OF LUCK!*
Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share
to all your friends because the question
papers are not many to go round
I Was Asked a Question by my Nephew why Married men cannot share their Problems and Frustration with their wives, .
I Told Him “You Cannot discuss Malaria with Mosquito”
They say milk gives you strenght so i drank 5 glasses
And still could’nt move a wall,
i tried 3 shots of vodka and saw the world move it self