After sex🍆🍑….
Girl: babie i need iphone 7 or samsung galaxy s8 edge….
Me: it was just sex so stop acting like you gave me your kidney!!!
😂😂😂men can be rude sometimes
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After sex🍆🍑….
Girl: babie i need iphone 7 or samsung galaxy s8 edge….
Me: it was just sex so stop acting like you gave me your kidney!!!
😂😂😂men can be rude sometimes
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True happiness is when you sitting next to your landlord in church..whilst you haven’t paid yr rent and the pastor says “Turn around nd tell your neighbour jesus has paid my debts
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At church I make sure I sit next to a beautiful lady
wat if the pastor says tell you neighbour you love them
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Competing with others will only bring you pain and jealousy.Appreciate what you have.
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Never run after a bus or a girl.
There will always be another one.
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*People are busy hiding millions from
government and you are there hiding Last
seen* on WhatsApp!
See your life !
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Teacher: Do you have a God?
Kid: Yes.
Teacher: If so, can you see Him?
Kid: No.
Teacher: Can you touch Him?
Kid: No.
Teacher: Then you don’t have a God.
Kid: Can I also ask you a question?
Teacher: Yes, sure.
Kid: Do you have a brain?
Teacher: Of course!
Kid: Can you see it?
Teacher: No!
Kid: Can you touch it?
Teacher: Are you an idiot? Of course I can’t.
Kid: Then you don’t have a brain.
Teacher: What!?
Kid: You see teacher. God is like our brain. We cannot see Him, nor touch Him. But we know He’s there.
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Disadvantage of sleeping With The same Person is That
You will end Up Running Out Of Underwears..!
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My Boss Asked Me To Start The Presentation With A Joke
I Attached My Payslip On The First Slide
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Ques. – Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher than the
Eiffel Tower…..
..
.
.
.
Ans. : Yes, because the Eiffel Tower Can-t Jump..
Think different….
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In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies
but the silence of our friends.
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Everyone has an annoying friend.
If you don’t have one, it’s probably you
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Air Commodore Vishal was a Jet Pilot. In a combat mission his fighter plane was destroyed by a missile. He however ejected himself and parachuted safely. He won acclaims and appreciations from many.
After five years one day he was sitting with his wife in a restaurant. A man from another table came to him and said “You’re Captain Vishal ! You flew jet fighters. You were shot down!”
“How in the world did you know that?” asked Vishal.
“I packed your parachute,” the man smiled and replied.
Vishal gasped in surprise and gratitude and thought if parachute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.
Vishal couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about that man. He wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything because, he was a fighter pilot and that person was just a safety worker”
So friends, who is packing your parachute?
Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day.
We need many kinds of parachutes when our plane is shot down – we need the physical parachute, the mental parachute, the emotional parachute, the spiritual parachute & the Financial Parachute.We call on all these supports before reaching safety.Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important.
We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.
As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize the people who pack your parachute.
I just want to THANK Everyone who Packed my parachute this year in 2017 one way or the other – through your words, deeds, prayers. Cheers For 2018….
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Ke December what kind of mom are you:
The Paranoid mom : You are not going anywhere.
The Cautious mom: Come back at 18hour we lock the gates.
The Dettol mom:I will see you in January
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When you tell your parent a funny story
then it turns into a life lesson
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If he comes back from work and sits in his car for a while.
Sister, his deleting the messages…
Yes, your rival’s messages..👌
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