Her : bbe I wanna cook u your favourite meal today
Him: can u cook a beer?

The guy who taught men that putting one’s tongue
in a woman’s ear is romantic
must be found and put to jail for life.

Bob Walked Into A Bar Around 9:58 Pm

He Sat Down Next To A Blonde At The Bar And Stared Up At The Tv Just As The 10:00 Pm News Was Coming On.

The News Crew Was Covering A Story About A Man Preparing To Jump Off The Ledge Of A Building.

The Blonde Looked At Bob And Said: “Do You Think He’ll Jump?”

Bob To The Blonde: “You Know, I Bet He’ll Jump.”

The Blonde: “Well, I Bet He Won’t.”

Bob Placed 20 Bucks On The Table And Said: “You’re On!”

The Blonde Also Placed Her Money On The Bar, Suddenly The Guy On The Ledge Did A Swan Dive Off The Building, Falling To His Death.

The Blonde Was Very Upset, But Willingly Handed Her 20 Bucks To Bob Saying: “Fair’s Fair, Here’s Your Money.”

Bob: ” Look Ma’am I Can’t Take Your Money. I Saw This Earlier On The 5 Pm News So I Already Knew He Would Jump.”

The Blonde: “I Saw It Too, But I Never Thought He’d Do It Again.”

Bob Took The Money.

You’ll think your Boyfriend is Romantic
when he Hold your hands on the Road
.
Only to realize He Can’t Read A Robot

I Friend Yam inyiswe Yi English Up To A Point
Where We Saw Twin’s Then He Said
“You Guys Look So Again”

“In High school, I was very poor in Maths and Chemistry. During the exams, i’d get between 2% an 8%. The results used to be announced out from the lowest to the highest marks. So i would always be the 1st or 2nd to be called out. One day the Maths results were being released and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &70s. Still my paper had not been called out. Everyone kept looking at me asking” Man wats up? And the teacher went on to the 80s and when he got to 88%, he had one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Maths ? I was feeling very anxious and happy now that I knew I had proved the so called Genius wrong.. The whole class was amazed as every one kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, There is a cow who did not write his name on the paper that scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now”….

Whoever cooked the food I ate in my dream,
please try to reduce salt n pepper next time
Thank you

WHY DO CHURCH GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE FOR SO LONG!!??😘😘😍😍😍😘😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Boy : Babe watsup?
Girl : Pliz my name is Grace not Babe
Boy : OK Grace how are you ?
Girl : The Lord is my strength ..
Boy : OK, What are you doing now?
Girl : am cooking
Boy : aww, should I come and help you?
Girl : I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me
Boy : hmmm OK ooo. At least I will come after you have finished
cooking the food so u will serve me..
Girl : pliz.., I only serve the living God and not human beings.
Boy : OK sister Grace what are u wearing now?
Girl : am wearing the full armour of Christ…
Boy : Honestly looking forward hold your hands one of this days
Girl : Touch not my anointed says the Lord
Boy : when will I see you?
Girl : Only those that are saved will see the Lord!
Boy : Alright, I give up…
Girl : God will never give up on you, so never you give up too!
Boy : What can I get for you on your birthday?
Girl : The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want
😂😂😂😂😂😂

Your girlfriend will always tell you about the guys
she rejected not the ones she accepted.
Be wise

Sometimes you have to call Bae and say “don’t cook tonight we are having KFC”🍜🍚🍛. Then switch off your phone and come back the next day.