My Father says my Girlfriend is ugly but
when i look at my Mom
-aii let me drink some water!!

I want to be rich to an extent that when my wife starts and argument, I hit the table and say: You know what, Let’s go and argue in Dubai!

If you WON 50 Million of Rand and your Ex
needs 49 Million for Kidney transplant
.
Which colour of Lamborghini will you
Choose ?

Dear black people. . . .
.
It’s Police-Station
Not Poly-Station
. . .Say it with me. . .”P-o-l-i-c-e S-t-a-t-i-o-n”

A man enters a bar and the bartender comes over and asks, “Can I help you, sir?”
The man answers, “What does a cup of coffee cost in this place?”
The bartender says, “That would be $2.60.”
“Alright, I’ll have one,” says the man. He takes 26 dimes out of his wallet and throws them all on the ground. The bartender doesn’t want to get involved in a fight so he just picks up the money and he brings the man his coffee.
A week later, the same man enters the bar. He orders a coffee again but this time he pays with a five dollar bill.
The bartender smelled an opportunity for revenge so when he brings the coffee, he throws 48 nickels on the ground as change. The man drinks his coffee leaving the change on the ground. A few minutes later he throws two dimes on the floor and orders a second coffee.

I brought my village girlfriend flowers then after an hour, my phone rang when I answered my girlfriend said “Baby this spinach that you brought, tastes funny.”
One word for her…

AFTER DIVORCE WIFE SENDS HUSBAND A MESSAGE:*
*WIFE:* Sorry to inform you that the daughter you kept for 20years is not your daughter.
*HUSBAND:* Thank God am free coz I was guilty thinking I was sleeping with my daughter, please tell her to come back home.
*Who was hurt most????

Everything I Like Is Either Expensive, Illegal, A Sin,
Or Doesn’t Text Back