I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….
I sent R1000 to a wrong number using Mobile Money
After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/ her this text message:
“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership
welcome fee Of R1000 to our Satanism Church.
We are glad and looking forward to having you
with us.
That is just the beginning of the richest life you
are about to start living. We hope you are as
excited to be joining our church as we are. As I
just said, that is a
welcome salary.
We are having a meeting tonight whereby we
will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start
of this month. Please invite over any female
person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight
at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.
If you haven’t shown any interest in our church
and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send
the money back to this number otherwise
welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”
10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send
another R1000 my friend is also interested’.
I fainted, people are so broke these days..

If you want to see her real beauty
tell her to remove that wig..!

KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?

Her: babe I’m pregnant
capital: how could you change your name without telling me?
Her: babe I’m pregnant serious :
Capital: you even changed your surname

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you

Teacher: Class,let us show the
Principal & our
guests how much we’ve Learnt
so far this Year.
Let’s do comparisons…when I say
Small U go..
Small,Smaller,Smallest OK?Let’s
start… Big…?
Class: Big,Bigger,Biggest!
Teacher: Clean…?
Class: Clean,Cleaner,Cleanest..
Teacher: Tall…?
Class: Tall,Taller,Tallest… Teacher:
(beaming with
Pride)…
Very Good!
Class: Very Good,Very
Gooder,Very Goodest!
Teacher: Haiya!
Class: Haiya,Haiya-er,Haiya-est!
Teacher: Stop it now! Class: Stop
it now,Stop it now-
er,Stop it now-est!
Teacher: Oh Please!
Class: Oh Please,Oh Please-er,Oh
Please-est!
Teacher: Look at me!
Class: Look at me,Look at me-
er,Look at me-est!
Teacher: OMG.. Class: OMG,OMG-
er,OMG-est!

That One ToothBrush All Your Girlfriends Use
When They come for A Sleep Over &
Each One Of Them Think Its Only Her Who Use It

If you think a shot of an AK47 gun is loud
then you have never heard a sound of a falling pot lid
when you are trying to steal meat at night

Good luck to learners who were doing Maths and Physics
the rest of you guys come on it’s not that difficult

Me trying to learn English

–
Teacher: you did it, didn’t you?
Me: You took my pen,tookn’t you?