She asked me: “What do u do for a living?” Then I replied: “I analyse and invest in highly risky business opportunities that has the possibilities of high returns, I deal with investing in business opportunities across England, Spain, Italy, Germany, France etc.” She was so excited but she never knew…. . . . I was talking about Soccer Betting
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Loyal girlfriends are always broke
even now they don’t have data..!
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Peanut butter can be so violent😒…
it tears the the bread slice when you spread it
and It chokes u to death when you eat it😨
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My biggest fear is having a child with someone
I don’t intend on spending the rest of my life with.
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That awkward moment when you are chatting with beautiful girl😍 at a wedding👫 and your mum comes and tells you,
“Pour that rice in a plastic and take it home😌.
That will be your Supper
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Just seeing your face brightens even my darkest of days.
Your light shines on all that I do.
How about another first kiss?
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My sister, don’t let your boyfriend stop you from finding a husband.
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Why can’t you hear a ptearadactal pi ?
Because the P is silent
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The disrespect that comes after “with all due respect” is too much..!
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You’ll wonder if some people’s facebook doesn’t have reactions
no matter how funny something is they’ll never react
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A morning text does not only mean good morning.
It also means, I think about you when I wake up.
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Bae: Really?,U Just slept With My Friend?
Me: No Babe… We Did It While STANDING.
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Even when you expect things
They still hurt when they happen
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Dating a Married Man is not the problem until
you see your name saved as engine oil.
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To die in love for someone is not the
big thing….
To live with that
pain with smile forever is the great real
achievement
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A girl at a boarding school texts her father….
“Goodevening Dad,i hopes u is fine and the hoe familiy.
Dad, i want to remembers u that we will starting ezams nest week,so a school want u to paid the school fins all else i will not going to write the ezam.Your lavely dowter, God blast you”
.
Then the father replied:
“Good evening and hope u are fine as well. Please don’t even bother to write the exams coz u cant even pass, tomorrow i will send u transport money u come back home and become a witch doctor.
Infact, let God blast u, not me. Idiot!!”
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