No one runs faster than a girl with makeup
when it suddenly starts raining….
Even a cheetah cannot catch her
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No one runs faster than a girl with makeup
when it suddenly starts raining….
Even a cheetah cannot catch her
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To the person who stays with me in good times and bad times, I just wanna say thank you and I love you.
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What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine.
Never lose hope and hang on to God’s hand
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If a man is allowed to select a girl from a possible of 100 girls…
Even if he picks the most beautiful one, he will still feel the pain of losing the remaining 99.
It’s Genetic !!!
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The world has grown suspicious of anything
that looks like a happily married life.
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Being a Girl it’s tough you can’t even VOMIT
in peace without people Accusing you of being pregnant
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Be the change you wish to see in the world
Mahatma Gandhi
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The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.” “Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave me alone!”
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Make the impossible possible ,and always belief
what god can do for in fixture.
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Today I actually killed a Mosquito
That bit me 3 year ago
.
That niggah thought I forgotten his face
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Black people don’t measure salt . We
sprinkle salt until we hear the spirit of our
ancestors whisper to us “It’s enough my
child”.
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He came home from work, tired. He sat down on the sofa and put his feet up. His wife brought him a glass of water. His son gave him a sheet of paper and he read through:
English 17%
Biology 25%
Mathematics 20%
Physics 17%
Chemistry 22%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 39%
Geography 22%
Suddenly, he lost his temper and started shouting: “What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?”
His wife said: “Be patient. Listen….” But he interjected,”Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!”
His Wife said: “Oh,really?”
He shouted: “No one in our family has performed so badly,ever!”
The son said: “Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”
The man became humbled and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on his face,he replied, “Son,you don’t know. Those days food was scarce.”
*MORAL OF THE STORY*
James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math
problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a
question, “Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a
fence and you shot one with your gun, how
many
would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny,
“cause the rest would fly
away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the
teacher, “but I like
the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says,
“I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones
in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was
biting her
cone and the third was sucking her cone,
which one
is married?” “Well,” said the teacher
nervously, “I guess the one
sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny,
“the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.
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A Wedding in America
Invitation: 60 people
Present: 58 people
Cars at the parking lot: 30
Things missing at the end: 0
A Wedding somewhere in Africa
Invitation: 100 people
Present: 1200 people
Cars at the parking: 5 cars and 6 buses
Things missing at the end: 700 teaspons, 200 plates, flowers, someone’s girlfriend, the bride’s father and the ring
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A couple of strangers a man and a woman were sitting next to each other on an international flight when the Captain came on the intercom and said: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry to have to tell you that, due to a major systems malfunction, we will not be able to make land and we will have to put down in the ocean. I’ll be frank with you. It’s going to be extremely rough and some of you may not survive. Good luck and keep praying.”
With that, the woman turned to the man and said: “Quick! Make me feel like a real woman!” The man pulled off his shirt, handed it to the woman and said: “Here you are love, Iron this …”
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You meet thousands of people and
none of them really touch you.
Then you meet one person,
and your life is changed forever.
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