English Funny Status

PRICELESS*

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

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English Funny Status

take a clean pot

Two single boys living away from home were talking among each other….

First -: “have you ever used a ‘ Recipe-book ‘ to make cooking..??”

The second boy :- “brought two-three, but the first step of making any recipe is the most difficult..!!”

First boy :- “which one..??”

Second boy :- *”take a clean pot..!!”*

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Good Morning

THERE IS TOMORROW*

*THERE IS TOMORROW*

Whenever you are dealing with people, you must always remember that there is tomorrow and you might need them tomorrow.
You may end up needing help from the people who are asking for your help today so help them.
Life is like a moving wheel, sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. Sometimes we destroy the bridges that we might need to help us cross back tomorrow.
Sometimes we treat people as though there is never going to be tomorrow. We sometimes act as though we will never need help from any one. Remember there’s tomorrow.
Joseph helped the cupbearer in prison and later the cupbearer connected Joseph with Pharaoh. Imagine how Portiphar’s wife felt when she heard that Joseph was now the Governor of Egypt after she had falsely accused him. The brothers who sold Joseph away ended up being fed by him. Don’t ever think of going to the extreme with your offenders, they might be rescuers tomorrow.
Always remember there is tomorrow and it will surely come.
The little help you give to people today, will profit you tomorrow.
May the good Lord touch your heart to live your life as if there is tomorrow.

*Good Morning!!!*

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English Funny Status

What wud u do?

Q.What wud u do?
,,,U r a man nd hv rented
a 3room house with ur wife.Ur lady friend
needs a place to stay & u decide to offer
her a room in ur house.Aftr a couple of
months u fall 4 her nd u start shagging
her!One day u lie to ur wife that u r going
out myb to a funeral so that u sleep at the
other room with ur lady friend!In the middle
of the nyt ur wife knoks and says ”chomi
can u pls give me a condom”,,,,?

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English Funny Status

…EAT FIRST

Today l went to a restaurant, l saw there was a wifi service, so l asked for password, the waitress told me eat first ,so l place my order,After eating l asked again for password and again she told me eat first,feeling frustrate again l order black coffee,after drinking ,again l asked for password,They told me eat first..Then angry l asked the restaurant manager for the password..He replied eat first, before l was about to explode, l finally saw a sign showing wifi password…EAT FIRST

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