Filipino Love Status

Si MAMA

-Siya yung nagalaga sa akin sa loob ng 9monthsπŸ’•
-Siya yung handang ipagtanggol ako kapag may kaaway ako!πŸ’•
-Siya yung nandyan kapag may problema ako!πŸ˜₯πŸ’•
-Siya lang naman yung ibibigay sayo ang lahat mapabuti ka lang kahit na walang wala na sya!πŸ˜₯πŸ’•
-Siya lang yung nagiisang matatakbuhan mo kapag down na down ka na!πŸ˜₯πŸ’•
-Siya yung mag-aalaga sayo kapag may sakit ka!πŸ˜₯πŸ’•
-siya yung tipong gagawin ang lahat mabigyan ka lang ng maayos na buhay!πŸ’•
-Siya yung nagiisang nakakaintindi sayo!πŸ’•
-Siya yung pinaka malupet na rapper na nakilala ko pero aminin mo para sayo rin yung sinabi nyaπŸ˜₯πŸ’•
-Siya lang naman yung kahit napakarami mo ng nagawang kasalanan ay kaya ka pa rin niyang patawarinπŸ’•
-Siya yung gagawin ang lahat para makakain ka lang ng tatlong beses sa isang arawπŸ’•
-Siya lang naman yung hinding hindi ka iiwanan kahit anong mangyari πŸ’•
-Siya lang naman yung sinasagot mo kapag hindi ka nakakahingi ng pera.
-Siya lang naman yung binabalewala mo porket nandiyan lang naman siya
-Siya yung nakakalimutan mo kapag kasama mo yung mga barkada mo!πŸ˜₯
-Siya lang naman yung natitiis mong magutom may maibigay ka lang na regalo sa Gf/Bf mo!πŸ˜₯
-Siya yung dinadaan daanan mo lang!πŸ˜₯

pero sana naman bago matapos ang araw na ito mabati man lang natin ang ating pinakamamahal na nanay.

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Zulu Jokes

Lwabishi!!!”

uINNO no Ngidi bahleli ebhasini. Kuthe kusenjalo
kwangena indoda enempandla ecwebezelayo.
Bahleka base babhansane onkabi baze basho bathi,
“Isibuko sezinyoni phela lesi!”
β€’
Athi uINNO,
“Uyazi Ngidi mina ngingayishaya leyandoda ngempama empandleni yayo
kuze kube kathathu maqeda ingangenzi lutho!”
β€’
(Aphike uNgidi athi angeke. Athi uINNO asibheje R100! Babheje)
β€’
Asukume uINNO aqonde kulendoda afike ayishaye kakhulu ekhanda bese ethi,
“Wena Spambo ulana kanti? Kunini sikufuna Lwabishi!”
β€’
Iphendule lendoda ithi,
“Angiyena uSpambo mina mfethu! Futhi angimazi nakumazi.”
Ayiphinde uINNO ayishaye kuthi Phaxa ekhanda layo bese ethi,
“Amanga wena Spambo maaan! Usuyaziphika doti?”
β€’
Idinwe lendoda igcine ikhetha ukuyohlala emuva, iyabona
ukuthi lomuntu uyayifanisa.
β€’
Ahleke uINNO bese ethi,
“Ngidi, sengiyoyishaya okokugcina manje leyampandla!”
Ashone khona uINNO afike ayishaye kakhulu ngempama
ekhanda bese ethi,
“Kanti wena Spambo ulana! Yazi sengize ngashaya
umuntu ngimfanisa nawe lapha phambili Lwabishi!!!”

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Filipino Funny Status

parachute

Mga sundalo nag training kung paano gamitin ang parachute (on the air na)

Sir: Pedro talon na !
Pedro: Sir baka sira po Yung parachute ?
Sir: Don’t be worry Pedro nagkasundo na kami ng company na papalitan nalng pag sira Yung parach

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English Whatsapp Status

ever conclude for others.

A lovely little girl was holding two apples with both
hands.
Her mum came in and softly asked her little daughter
with a smile:
My sweetie, could you give your mum one of your two
apples?
The girl looked up at her mum for some seconds, then
she suddenly took a quick bite on one apple, and then
quickly on the other.
The mum felt the smile on her face freeze. She tried
hard not to reveal her disappointment.
Then the little girl handed one of her bitten apples to
her mum,and said: mummy, here you are take This is the
sweeter one. I will take the tasteless one.
No matter who you are, how experienced you are, and
how knowledgeable you think you are, always delay
judgement. Give others the privilege to explain
themselves. What you see may not be the reality. Never
conclude for others.

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English Funny Status

high school now

Two mentally disturbed men decided that they have to attend school. So they collected old books and sat under a tree pretending that it was a school . The following day,one got there early and climbed a tree. As the other came and saw his friend on top of the tree he asked:what are you doing up there ? The friend replied : I’m in high school now

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English Funny Status

Court adjourned.

I can’t laugh alone πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚
A man and his wife were in court to have a Divorce.
The problem in contention was ….who should have the possession of the child.??
The man or the woman?
The woman jumped up and said… “My Lord, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour…. alone”.
The judge then turned to the man and gave him the chance to defend himself and the man said ..
“My lord ..I have a question, ….when you insert your ATM card into the ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine…..”?
πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜³
οΏ½οΏ½πŸ™„Court adjourned.

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English Funny Status

joke

BREAKING NEWS.
Zimbabweans can now smile.
President Emmerson Mnangangwa has approved the bill to start payment for all unemployed Zimbabweans within the age of 18-55 years.
They will be paid an allowance of US$250 monthly starting from monday 14/06/2018. All university allowances of US$2000 has been granted to all university students.
To get such Jokes, sms jokes to 111.

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