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Ati nyinyi ni wengi hadi mama anapiga chapo moja alafu zingine zinawekwa photocopy

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WELCOME TO KENYA
Where people leave as they return
“acha niende ivi nakam”….
Where the husband huitwa baby and the son huitwa baba…
Where you don’t need to go to Masai Mara to see a hyena.They are seated right next to you.!…
This is Kenya;
where a young man is called Babu Owino and an old man is called Kijana Wamalwa,nkt!
Only in Kenya where Wafula hangs on a chopper in broad daylight but denies it in court and the cops asks for time to investigate..
Where after a four hour conversation someone, as he says goodbye…tells you, “wee tutaongea.!”
Only in Kenya where you board a matatu with five people only to realise you were actually the first one, hao wengine walikua wa “kujaza”.
Only in Kenya where u pray with ur eyes open coz ur pocket can be a blessing to somebody you don’t expect.
“Where you eat Githeri and become famous and your life changes just like that.”
Where Girls handbags carry everything
necessary for sleepover except their
fare back home…
Where Men phones are like onions. If their
wives touch and look they shed tears…
Where Dark skin ladies wear black
crop_tops and red tights only to look
like pliers..
where money is like HIV, everyone claims not to have it…
Where People think of sex when it rains
instead of farming..
Where Every man approaching a lady claims
not to be a fisi..
Where Ladies bleach and forget the joints,
they end up looking like sugarcane..
Where You are forced to type ‘Amen’ on
Facebook else undisclosed calamity
befalls you..
Where You buy your chick panties your
neighbor removes them..
Whre A Kenyan girl will still ask you,
“umeniletea nini” hata kama umetoka
kwa jela..
Where Once you tell a lady that you love
her you already owe her some money..
Where Someone lies to over 40 million
Kenyans eti Eeh Mungu Nguvu Yetu
means Ooh God of all creation…
Where Yesu Nipe Nyonyo and Tiga Wana
are gospel hit songs while Mungu
Pekee is considered a secular song..
Where When you meet a lady who does
not ask for your money you think it is a
set up..
Where You have unprotected sex then get
into the car and wear safety belt like
you didn’t try to kill yourself a moment..

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Kuishi nyumbani na mwanaume asiyekuwa na pesa ni sawa na kuishi na feniture ndani ya nyumba

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Form fours are like posting *”stress is over”*😂tuwaambie ukweli ama tuwaache wapumzike😂

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I hope my book of life ingeandikwa na kalamu ya mate kuna ka place nafaa kuvuta

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Kua smart bro kupeleka dame si wako out then unamdrop kwao ni Kama kuweka token kwa meter ya lodging bro

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Ushawahi potea njia unajipata kwa boma kwa MTU,
inabidi uombe maji ya kunywa…

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Madem wengi kasi ya n ya kufilter picha wapost kwa status na hawakumbuki lika yao inaelekeakumalisha ulezi

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Kumbe Tumbo ndo inanyamba Matako ni Speaker tu 😂😂

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Wendawazimu walipanda basi la ghorofa wengine juu na wengine chini.
Wakati basi linatembea
waliopanda chini wanawauliza wa juu, huko speed ngapi? maana huku speed 80.wajuu wakajibu huku mpaka sasa hatujui mana hata dreva bado hajaja!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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To our sisters leo want to ask you this question hivi…..

“what would you do if you start arguing with your man and he starts crying”

Sisi tuko hapa to see the comments and kuchangia where we have too

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Niliambiwa na mwalimu wangu wa kiswahili ya kwamba ukiona mtu na makalio kubwa ujue ni ujinga amebeba hapo soo madem tuwache maringo ukiwa umebeba haaga ,,,,,”hiyo ni ujinga umebeba”.

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Wale mlikuwa mnasema 2020 is your financial year ebu mkujie mwaka yenu na sitafadhali 🤣🤣

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Nampenda bwana yesu Sikh zote za maisha yangu kwani yeye ndiye mwenye kunipendeza na hakuna mwingine zaidi yake katika maisha yangu. Ahsante yesu kwa kunijalia afya njema ,kunikinga na na maradhi kuniepusha dhoruba za dunia hii na uzidi kuendelea kuniepusha tena na tena mpaka hapo utakapo niita baba yetu .ahsante baba kwa ridhiki unayonijalia kila siku, bariki mazao yangu ya shamba pia bariki biashara yangu iwe na Wateja wengi na I we endelevu,naomba ktk jina la yesu amina

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Mungu ndie mgawa riziki ko usijisumbue kwenda kwa waganga kwaaajir ya kuziba riziki yangu unajisumbua nibora ukakaa ukatathimin kwamba mbona mwenzangu kafanikiwa ko njoooo nikupe siri ya mafanikio sio kwenda kwa waganga

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