Hii ngozi enye Mungu alitumia kutengenezea magoti nashuku ni same na ile alitumia kutengenezea makende.
Hizi ngozi mbili zinafanana sana…
waaah can’t spot the difference! Men
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Back in high school, I was very poor in maths during exams nilikua napata Kati ya 4% na 10%🙈. The results used to be announced from the lowest maarks to the highest marks,, so nilikua wa kwanza ama wa pili kuitwa😑 alafu napokea viboko kadhaa 😏.
So one day the maths results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called 🤜🤛…so mwalimu anaendelea 30%, 40%, 50%, 60%, 70% bado jina langu halikuitwa, kila mtu kwa class akaniangalia👀,, wanauliza “umepitaje huu mtihani?”😝,nikasmile nikasema ” Ni mungu tu” by the time alifika 80% I was already grinning in excitement. Wakati alifika 90% alikuwa amebaki na paper moja tu 😁🙌,, saa mungu amejibu maombi na ndoto yangu ya kupita maths imetimia🙏,, class mzima walishangaa na kuniangalia 👀,, finally mwalimu akaangalia juu na kusema.
“One idiot did not write his name and he scored 0%”. l just fainted 😂😂
Dame:beb Plic nbuyie redo ya mbao.
Boy:tumiaga hiyo ya chuma kabla walete ya mbao,
Kupenda usipende sanaaaa chukulia umempenda sana mwanamke halafu anakuwekea limbwata unafikiri utakuwa kwenye hali gani
Her: Yoyaah Arfoza
Meh: Yoyaah
Her: Manjet
Meh: Man ni mtu na jet ni ndege
One word for Arfoza
Kama ukijua kua MTU ni watu maana MTU peke hawezi akaishi kamwe
Unapoondoka duka bila kununua chochote na unajiambia
“tenda kawaida, huna hatia”
Him: hae
Her:moglobin
Him: wacha hizo ww
Her:zipi….unasemaje
Him:unaitwa?
Her:mzimu…uko nalaziada
Him:Thai…Dina
😂😂😂😅
Imagine umelala afternoon bcoz the previous night ulikuwa kesha. mara unasika knock kwa mlango, ukienda kufungua unagongwa kidole ya mwisho ya mguu na kitanda, kuturn kidogo unaangukia ndoo za maji yanamwangika, unatereza kwa hayo maji unaangukia tv, na wire ya stima inakupinga shock kwa mgongo. unasimama na uchovu, maumivu, hasira na hasara. kufika kwa mlango kufungua unapatana na jamaa kwa mlango anasema, ” Habari yako? naregister lines za Orange!” utafanya? 😂😂
Ujinga nini?
Ujinga ni pale napotoa 1 million kama mahari!
Wakati aliyetoa bikra! Katulia hukoooo!
Niliambiwa na mwalimu wangu wa kiswahili ya kwamba ukiona mtu na makalio kubwa ujue ni ujinga amebeba hapo soo madem tuwache maringo ukiwa umebeba haaga ,,,,,”hiyo ni ujinga umebeba”.
*Kuna cousin yangu amepata 50 out of 500. KCPE. Tunangojea alale tuhame.* Sa hii tuko maombi kwao.
Huyu amaweka family kwa kizungumkuti.
Some ladies will be there like..”I have inner beauty” my sister, kwani wewe ni mutura☹
phone yaka e wetse kara pitsa ya motepa wao fisa… i’m worried about you guys , a LA fisa ke motepa ??
Mdomo not kubwa..chapati waikunjia nini?
Kumbe Tumbo ndo inanyamba Matako ni Speaker tu 😂😂
