A Man And His Family Doctor Accidentally Meets In The Market.

Doctor: “How Is Your Headache Now?”

Patient: “Ohh, She Is Out Of Town.

Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired – you must register a new one.”
“roses”
“Sorry, too few characters.”
“pretty roses”
“Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character.”
“1 pretty rose”
“Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.”
“1prettyrose”
“Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters.”
“1f***ingprettyrose”
“Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character.”
“1FU**INGprettyrose”
“Sorry, you cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.”
“1F***ingPrettyRose”
“Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters.”
“1F***ingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourA**IfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessRightF***ingNow!”
“Sorry, you cannot use punctuation.”
“1F***ingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourA**IfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightF***ingNow”
“Sorry, that password is already in use.”

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. I don’t understand the sudden change of heart, but who am I to ask. I’m so lucky…
I mean, first I won the lottery and now this!

When you thought you’ve seen it all.
Waiter : would you like to eat something sir?
Him Nah thanks.
Waiter : And you Madam?
Her : Bring two Nah thanks and water pls

I am looking for the girlfriend for the second semester. Girlfriend Pocket Allowance R1800, 5GB data montly and R1500 clothes allowance montly.

An Aeroplane cleaner was cleaning
the pilot’s cockpit when he saw a
book titled, “HOW TO FLY AN
AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS.
Volume 1

He opened the 1st page which said: “To start the engine,
press the red button..” He did
so, and the airplane engine
started.. He was happy and
opened the next page…: “To get the airplane moving, press the blue button..” He did so and the plane
started moving at an amazing
speed… He wanted to fly, so he
opened the 3rd page which said:
“To let airplane fly, please press
the green button..” He did so and the plane started to fly…He was excited…!!
After 20 minutes of
flying, he was satisfied and
wanted to land so he decided to
go to the 4th page… and page 4
says; “To be able to know how to land a plane, please purchase
Volume 2 at the nearest book shop! ”

He will be buried tomorrow.

never attempt anything without complete information

*Dating a girl with a big head isn’t a problem. The problem is, when she wants to lie on your chest, you will feel as if you are carrying the entire country’s problems*

WARNING:
Don’t drink water after eating fish bcz water may cause the fish to swim nd then u will feel gulugulu gulugulu in your stomach..

Somewhere in Africa there’s a 35 year old man who is mad that his mom didn’t leave money for bread

Tell her she’s beautiful instead of hot,
she’s a “WOMAN” not a temperature

Koos comes home drunk and his wife is spitting mad and pushes him out of the house. She shouts to him that he is not coming inside when he is this state. Koos climbs into the dog kennel with the dog and falls asleep. The next evening he comes home again roaring drunk and the wife shoos him out of the house and again he climbs into the dog house with the dog. This goes on for 5 days in a row. The 6th evening, he comes home sober and the wife is very happy and allows him back in the house. The following evening Koos arrives home steaming drunk and the wife shoos him out of the house, so he starts to climb into the dog house when the dog bites him. Koos shouts at the dog “what was that for?” the dog replies…. “where were you last night?

“Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and increases mileage.”*

Please send this to your wife and let me know which hospital to come & visit you !

Having a twin is cool, the problem starts when you are drunk and find your twin in bed and be like: “Oh I’ve already slept lemme go back to tarven”..