Its almost month end. The only time when men get special respect at home. Even if you go to the toilet ….she will be like ‘honey how was your journey?’

Pleance before you plost
Make sure your spillings are correct..

*My neighbour called the police because I was smoking weed in my backyard.* *The police got here and asked where the weed was, I said I smoked it all.* *They said where did you buy it, I said from my neighbour…* *now they’re at his house*
*Learn To Mind Your Own Business!!!*

My Crush😍: So Are you single?

Me: I’ve been hurt 0616327639 times

Do lesbian leave each other for someone
with a bigger tongue and long fingers as
well?

Sometimes you have to call Bae and say “don’t cook tonight we are having KFC”🍜🍚🍛. Then switch off your phone and come back the next day.

A wife was in bed with her lover🍆🍑 when she heard her husband’s key in the door.🙄
“Stay where you are,😏” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.✋”
Sure enough,😄 the husband lurched into bed none the wiser😶, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet🤔 sticking out at the end of the bed😶.
He turned to his wife: “Hey,🤨 there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on💁‍♂️?”
“Nonsense,🙄” said the wife, “You’re so drunk😏 you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there😆.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two,✌three👌, four.🖖 Damn, you’re right.🤣

A Lots of Women have wife written all over them,
but they keep entertaining Men who can’t read.

`Some Irritating Facebook status

●I love him💕
-(Why dont you tell him in his inbox?)😕

●Who wants to take me out for lunch?🍝🍔
-(Why dont you tell your family to take you out?)

●Off to bed
-(Haiboo are we the one having your blankets?)

●I need to Unfriend some people👥👫👬
-(Really?Grow up ,why did you add them in the first place?Did you tell us when accepting or adding them?)

●I am missing him
-(Who cares!)😕

●I am bored😵
-(I’d urge you to get a life)

●All men are the same😑😐😐
-(Who told you to try them all?)

●I am Quitting Facebook.
-(So what ?!😒You want us to cry?)

●I’m back guys,I missed you so much!
-(ohh please😒,We didn’t even notice you gone😪😴)

😒

If you can’t control your woman…
Then you’ve found the right one..!

Private school: Good morning class
Learners: Good Morning Teacher.

Government school: Good Morning Class
Learners: Goooooooood Mooooorniiiing Teeeeaaacheeeeer 😯