Tell her she’s beautiful instead of hot,
she’s a “WOMAN” not a temperature

Math lit be like
Tsepo bought 3 apples and gave his friend 1
1. Calculate the doors of the house
2.calculate the weight of his parents car
3.calculate the colour of the continent
😥😥

Closing your eyes after switching off your alarm
should be included in 1000 ways to die

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.”
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.
The doctor examines him and says, “You’ve been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”
The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”
The doctor says, “I bet they told you it had to be cut off.”
The man answers, “Yes!”
The doctor smiles, nods, “That is not correct. It will fall off by itself.”

Tips For Loosing Weight..! Slowly Turn Your Head To The Left Then Again To Your Right.. Repeat This Exercise When i Offer You Food…Thank Me Later

Can’t stop laughing 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

I will never lie again.

Today I was coming back from church, in the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her. I did all the signs I could to make her feel my presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I can’t make it today because I’ve just received a call from our CEO asking me to replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell when u
were taking your phone out of your pocket…..🙄
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the kombi

Apparently there are disagreements of Zuma’s retirement package. They offered him $800,000 but he refused saying that he wants something with a million in it.
So they said how about half a million? He agreed!!

Leave that abusive relationship before you become a motivational speaker…

The world has grown suspicious of anything
that looks like a happily married life.

*Since I was born and now I am getting old I av never dated a Girl that ever asked Me to buy her Bible or Qur’an before?😏,*

*All their National Anthem is Buy Me a phone ,* *Buy Me Airtime,* *Help me with cash it’s Urgent.*

To those who always wave me at messenger…….
i wish you a safe journey too

Tomorrow I’ll be hosting a party at home,
it’s only for cute people, if you are ugly please don’t come
Even my self I won’t be there