it’s Friday Night 🔥♥ , Time To Party 💃💪 ..
I’m Just Kidding 😕😒 , I’m Actually At The House 🏡 Chilling On The Couch 😏
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What do computers like to eat..
.
.
.
Chips!
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{If you’re a 35+ Man}
It’s time to leave these young girls alone..
Get a woman who understands the signs of stroke and diabetes..!
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Jack’s marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage. “Well,” his friend says, “you can always have an affair.” “I can’t do that! I will always be faithful to her.” the troubled man replies. “If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won’t be cheating.” The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement. “Honey,” his wife says, “that won’t help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it.”
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what is happiness ….
happiness is when ur ex is dating some1 u can draw wit ur left hand
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Getting offended by something posted on social media
is like choosing to step in dog shit💩🦶🏼
instead of walking🚶 around it..!
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Her:hello dear
Me:hello too
Her: did you read the text I sent last night?
Me:the one you were requesting for 10
thousand cash?
Her: yes that one
Me: I haven’t read it yet.
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I want to eat but my girlfriend is not showing any sign of leaving
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_this message can not be viewed by your phone,
please put it in water for 08 seconds_
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That moment when you send your boyfriend your picture
without make up and he’ll be like “lmao Who’s this Babe”..!!
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Facebook is like prison,
you write on walls and get
poked by people you don’t know.
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Fake Friends – Never ask for food..🍩
👭Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍜
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Call your parents Mr. / Mrs.
👭Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😢
👭Real Friends – Cry with you😭
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back
👭Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🎒
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..💭
👭Real Friends – Could write a book about you📚
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door..🏡
👭Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🙋
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over🎭
👭Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”🙌
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Are around for a while..🚶
👭Real Friends – Are for life💙
~•~
👥Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😄
👭Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it💚
~•~
👥Fake Friends – will read this.📃
👭Real Friends – will share this📠
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One Day, While A Woodcutter Was Cutting A Branch Of A Tree Above A River, His Axe Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Appeared And Asked: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “His Axe Has Fallen Into Water, And He Needed The Axe To Make His Living”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Reappeared With A Golden Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Again Went Down And Came Up With A Silver Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
Again, The Woodcutter Replied: “No”
The Lord Went Down Again And Came Up With An Iron Axe.
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Axe?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Yes”
The Lord Was Pleased With The Man’s Honesty And Gave Him All Three Axes To Keep, And The Woodcutter Went Home Happy.
Some Time Later The Woodcutter Was Walking With His Wife Along The Riverbank, And His Wife Fell Into The River.
When He Cried Out, The Lord Again Appeared And Asked Him: “Why Are You Crying?”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh Lord, My Wife Has Fallen Into The Water”
The Lord Went Down Into The Water And Came Up With Angelina Jolie
The Lord Asked: “Is This Your Wife?”
The Woodcutter Cried: “Yes”
The Lord Was Furious. “You Lied! That Is An Untruth”
The Woodcutter Replied: “Oh, Forgive Me, My Lord. It Is A Misunderstanding. You See, If I Had Said ‘No’ To Angelina Jolie, You Would Have Come Up With Aishwarya Rai. Then If I Said ‘No’ To Her, You Would Have Come Up With My Wife. Had I Then Said ‘Yes’ You Would Have Given Me All Three. Lord, I Am A Poor Man, And Am Not Able To Take Care Of All Three Wives, So That’s Why I Said ‘Yes’ To Angelina Jolie”
Moral Of The Story: “Whenever A Man Lies, It Is For A Good And Honorable Reason, And For The Benefit Of Others.
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exam will make u ask yourself
if you wanna leave school or
u want school to leave you🙆🏻♂️
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Having an “Ex” as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick.
Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it my friend.
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A month ago i gave my number to this beautiful girl😊😋……she said “I will text You when i get home”
I think she is homeless😕 cause i’m still waiting
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