Ladies and their nonsense behaviours.
I said we should meet in front of restaurant and you’re already inside reading the menu ..

Finish reading and meet me outside let’s discuss.

I hate indiscipline.

Ladies, funny Guys are dangerous.
They make you laugh and laugh and laugh…
Then Boom! You’re naked

Italian Relationship:
1st day= Sex
2nd day= Sex again.

French Relationship:
1st day = movies & kiss
2nd day = Sex
3rd day = Sex again

British Relationship:
1 day= hangout & kiss
2nd day = kiss & hug
3rd day= kissing, hug and smooching
4th day = sex and more sex

American Relationship:
1st day= Date
2nd day= Hug
3rd day= Hug again (warmly)
4th day= Kiss
5th day= Long kiss
6th day= Sex

African Relationship:
1st day= Toast
2nd day= Toast
3rd day= Toast again
4th day= Agree
5th day= Date
6th day= Date again
7th day= Date again with three of her hungry friends or cousins.
8th day= Date & Hug
9th day= Tried to peck but failed.
10th day = Peck
11th day= Tried to kiss but failed.
12th day= kiss
13th day= Long kiss
14th day= Tried to have sex but failed.
15th day= Tried to have sex but quarrelled
16th day= Didn’t talk to each other
17th day= Malice till the next day
18th day= The man called but the woman didn’t pick
19th day= The man called, the woman picked and asked: “what is it?”
The man apologize and the woman replied: “Leave me alone, am not that type of girl”
The man continued to beg till the next day.
20th day= The woman accepted the unwarranted apology
21st day= Hug
22nd day= Long hug
23rd day= Kiss
24th day= Long kiss
25th day= Tried to have sex but the woman complains that her phone is bad. Guy promises to buy her a new one.
26th day= Tried to have sex but the woman said until he buys the phone
27th day= Tried to have sex but the woman asked: “where is the phone? U are not serious, call me when you are serious”
28th day= Rape.
29th day= Police case.

*Couldn’t stop laughing*
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You”….. He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a Church nearby, for the priest… “Father, please come with me. Come & witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You’………… Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: “What About The Two At The Gate?” You should’ve seen the marathon…

A New Metal is added to Chemistry:

Name: WIFE
Symbol: Bv

Atomic Weight: Light when first found… tends to get heavier over the years with time.

Physical Properties :
– Boils at any time
– Can freeze at any time
– Melts if treated with love & care
– Very Bitter if Mishandled

Chemical Properties :
– Very Reactive
– Highly Unstable
– Possess Strong Affinity towards Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards, Debit cards & Cheque books
– Money Reducing Agent

Occurrence :
– Mostly found in front of the Mirror.

Please circulate to all scientists & non-scientists.

Dating a soldier mare its another problem..
Girl : Bae can i come over?
Guy : Negative madam….Maybe tomorrow i repeat maybe tomorrow…!!! Do you copy?
.

The rudeness of Public Hospital nurses alone is enough to chase away
the disease from your body..!

Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

I need a girlfriend
who works at the radio station📻
even when she says”Love I’m at work”
I just turn on the radio,just to be sure

12 Rules of Street Football⚽

When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣