My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally, that day my wife was feeling for s** and she did not want to whisper to me since i was busy sharing stories with her mother. My wife tricked me by pretending she has headache and went straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed her leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came back I had forgotten to close my zip.
Mother-in-law: How is she feeling now?
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
Mother-in-law: OK, close the pharmacy……
Slay Queen said:
If my body is the temple of God who am i
to limit the number of people who want to
enter?
keep playing your boyfriend like football ,
let another girl catch him like a goalkeeper ,
you will regret watching the highlight*
Money Doesn’t Change People,
it Only Unlocks Characters That Were Jailed By Poverty.
Double heart attack message from my girl to me today:
1st SMS: Let’s break up now, it’s all over.😳😳😳
2nd SMS: Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! That was not for you
When you’re talking to your father through the phone and
your friends starts saying ” aah aah oh yes bbe” in a girls voice
Do you also make scenarios in your head that will never happen
but makes you happy so you just keep on imagining them..!?
Signboard on one side of a super highway..
.
.
.
.
.
You are not looking at the road
Boy: It’s only six days to go.
Girl: Yeahhhhh!!! nd mmmmmh I can’t wait for that day.
Boy: Me too babe nd I just hope Liverpool beats FC Porto.
Girl: Tsek ….inja what about Valentine.
AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND
TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE
HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING
SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER
STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH
A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE
YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, “HEY OLD
WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO,… I
NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO.”
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID
“WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA
DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED
SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S
FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR —
NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
BLOWN OFF –STARTED HOPPING
AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS
LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET
HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG
GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING,
HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED
AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER
PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-
BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED
BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE
CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING
IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE
WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE
CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD
WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING
HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN
NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD
WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY
SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED
A MULE’S ASS?”
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD
AND SAID, “NO M’AM… BUT I’VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR
ALL OF US:
1 – Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re
smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old people; they
didn’t get old by being stupid.
What is uMhlola?
uMhlola is when you give a lift to a
beautiful girl and she faints in your car. You take
her to the hospital and the doctor says she is
pregnant and congratulates you that you will soon be
a father . You shout that you are not the father but
the girl insist that you are the father……
Things are now getting Mhlolaful you now
require a DNA test to prove that you are not the
father…
Things become Mhlolostic when the doctor
comes with results saying you cannot be the father
because you are infertile…. You are relieved but on
your way home you remember you are married with
three kids at home!…..
Now you are extremely Mhlolicious
Now you begin to ask yourself who is the father
to those three kids?… Now you get home to find out
the father to those kids is your gateman … You
are now Mhlolaned
You then decide to go to your mum to tell her the
sad news… Your mum with tears running down her
cheeks tells you ‘my son I’m so sorry….your dad isn’t
your real dad’…. Then you know things are
Mhlolacated
And if you dont forward this you are a
Mhlolacriosis
I personally don’t understand why Drunk people
love to talk closer to your face .
If Lucky Is An English Name…🤔🤔🤔
How come we haven’t seen A white Guy Named Lucky😂😂😂…
Think About It..
can someone teach me how to stop being a fast replier,
i look desperate
*My phone is very spiritual guys*
Last Sunday l went to church ,I walked almost half way then my phone starts showing “NO SERVICE” I returned home very happy I knew *there was no church that day
Thanks to my phone .
This guy comes back 4rm da toilet, when a women says to him, “Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open”!” As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,”Did you see my big black hummer?” The woman replies, “Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires.”
