Two mad men organised to run away🏃 from the mental Hospital, they started planning and agreed that they will go to the gate , beat up the security😎 then open the gate and run away
….. When they reached the gate the security was not there and the gate was wide open …they said “SHIT our plan has failed
, let’s go back we’ll try again tomorrow”

I started fearing smoking weed,when I saw my neighbour’s son dancing to the sound of my generator. ..When I switched it off he asked me who sang that song ? Because I was afraid he would beat me , I answered ” Yamaha featuring Petrol”

Guys There are people who are
selling fake airtime so before you recharge
just send me the voucher i got a machine
which tells whether the airtime is fake or
not

Facebook is for posting jokes , so if you post your relationship,
your relationship is a joke..

*My phone is very spiritual guys*

Last Sunday l went to church ,I walked almost half way then my phone starts showing “NO SERVICE” I returned home very happy I knew *there was no church that day

Thanks to my phone .

Tell the devil that today is not your day, and tomorrow is not looking good either.

FIFA stands for
F-Football
I-isn’t
F-For
A-Africa

I decided to travel to the USA
THE VISA interview went as follows at the US Embassy:

Officer : So where you going in the USA?
Me : San Jose
Officer : it’s pronounce San Hose, J is pronounced as H in the US.
Me : Oh… Okay!
Officer : How long you planning to stay?
Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly…😕😕

Do you think I got the VISA?

Feels like it’s going to be a boring day, so I’ll entertain myself by nyising sons and daughters of African false prophets. Nothing makes me happy than seeing them catching feelings 😾

You’re no longer broke,
you’re financially humiliated..!

Ladies please, when you wash your underwears pin them tight on the clothing line. Yesterday the wind blew my neighbors underwear into my bedroom and my wife refused to understand

A woman wakes during the night to
find that her husband is not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes
downstairs to look for him. She finds
him sitting at the kitchen table with a
hot cup of coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just
staring at the wall. She watches as he
wipes a tear from his eye and takes a
sip of his coffee.
‘What’s the matter, dear?’ she
whispers as she steps into the room.
‘Why are you down here at this time
of night?’
The husband looks up from his
coffee, ’It’s the 20th anniversary of
the day we met.’
She can’t believe he has remembered
and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, ‘Do you
remember 20 years ago when we
started dating? I was 18 and you were
only 16,’ he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to
tears. ‘Yes, I do,’ she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were
not coming easily. ‘Do you remember
when your father caught us in the
back seat of my car?’
‘Yes, I remember,’ said the wife,
lowering herself into the chair beside
him.
The husband continued. ‘Do you
remember when he shoved the
shotgun in my face and said, “Either
you marry my daughter or I will send
you to prison for 20 years?’
‘I remember that, too,’ she replied
softly. He wiped another tear from his
cheek and said,
‘I would have gotten out today.

Need to stop texting when am drunk,
am back with 3 of my ex’s🙇