I dont mean to brag but my bank says
I have ‘an outstanding balance’!

I was in a taxi sitting next to a beautiful lady…I decided to ask for her digits
“`
She took out her phone from her bag,
switched it off infront of me and said:
“Sorry my battery is dead”
“`
☆☆☆Even now im still fainting☆☆☆

A Touching Story

Girl: (touches the boy)
Boy: (touches the girl)
Girl: (Touches the boy again)

What a touching Story

When I’m alone I speak to myself
–
Ngeke ngibhoreke ngikhona

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

If I kiss you by mistake.
What will you do

1:Kiss back
2:ignore
3:Cry
4:laugh
5:slap me

My neighbour bought a sound system for the first time
now he’s calling his kids using a Mic

Since I saw my landlord’s wife coming out
of a hotel room last week she has been
bringing me food morning*, *afternoon
and evening*.
*I wonder what is her problem*

if you meet a woman that admits when she’s wrong and apologizes…
dump her that might be a man, women don’t do that

I’ll Never Forget That Day I Visited My Ex And I Was Served Rice And Chicken

While I Was Eating, Their Dog Kept On Moving Up And Down, Looking At My Face

I Told The Younger Sister” It Seems Your Dog Likes Visitors” And The Girl Replied” No , It’s Because You’re Using It’s Plate ” how could she do that to me ?

Dating a prostitute is not a problem. The problem is when you want to have sex……and she will be like ‘babie no you cant be having stock everyday……the business is gonna go down