Today Is National “Animal Day” Please Take A Moment To
Remember Your Ex!!
Black Patents Will Say You Are Clever😇
•
Just Because You Sent A Song Via Bluetooth
Ladies if you can’t find the right man, present the wrong man to God,
He will edit him for you
Girls think it’s cute smoking weed with their boyfriends.
he will leave you for a decent girl
then use your story for a testimony at church
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry.
Just remove the battery from the clock and
enjoy life….
*TODAY I DECIDED TO CAUSE TROUBLE!!!*
I went to a RESTAURANT and couldnt get a table. After seeing every table being occupied by couples, I took out my phone and made a very loud phone call, saying,
“My friend, your wife is here with another man just come and see”
Nine women DISAPPEARED!!!! And I got a table
A newly married husband saved
his wife’s number on his mobile
as “MY LIFE”.
After 1 year of marriage he
changed the number to “MY
WIFE”. After 2 years of marriage
he
changed the number to “HOME”.
After 5 years of marriage he
changed the number to “HITLER”.
After 10 years of marriage he
changed the number to “WRONG
NUMBER”.
What name do you think he will
save the wife’s number with
after 15years…….?
My neighbour gave birth to twins and said she was tired of regular names given to twins like Victor & Victoria, Paul & Pauline, etc. So she asked me to come up with some names and this is what I came up with:
1. Tom & Jerry
2. Copy & Paste
3. Praise & Worship
4. Boko & Haram
5. Give & Take
6. Screw & Driver
7. Salt n Vinegar
8. Terms and Conditions
.
.Which names would you give to my neighbour’s twins..
Girls if your boyfriend impregnants you
and run away, date your crush and blame
it on him, we don’t want fatherless kids
this year
No one is Busier like a Girl who is not Interested in you she be like
“Call me Later…am busy counting my Stretch Marks!!!
Between somebody and someone who’s someone exactly?
A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!
People Say You Cannot Live Without Love🙄
.
I Think Oxygen Is More Important
It Was Happening In A Hospital That ICU Patients Died In Same Bed Every Sunday At 11 Am.
Dr. Thought, It Is Something Super Natural
Worldwide Xpert Team Was Formed To Investigate The Cause.
Next Sunday, Few Minute Before 11 Am, All Dr. & Nurses Stand Around That Bed & Start Waiting To See What It Was?
Then Suddenly A Man (Part Time Sunday Sweeper) Entered The ICU, Unpluged The Life Support System Of That Bed & Pluged In His Mobile Charger.
I want to kill a chicken,
so should I use a knife or a wife?
Birthdays are good for your health
Studies show people who have more brithdays tend to live longer..
