Don’t be a boring girlfriend,
sometimes you must take your boyfriend to the mortuary
to show him where he belongs if you find him cheating

Ladies Imagine arguing with your dark skinned boyfriend and he says, You wont see me again then switches off the lights😂😂😂😂😂

if You Are Still Dating Your Babydaddy 🙄 , it’s Only You And Your Grandmother Who Know What You Did To That Poor Guy.

He came home from work, tired. He sat down on the sofa and put his feet up. His wife brought him a glass of water. His son gave him a sheet of paper and he read through:

English 17%
Biology 25%
Mathematics 20%
Physics 17%
Chemistry 22%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 39%
Geography 22%

Suddenly, he lost his temper and started shouting: “What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?”

His wife said: “Be patient. Listen….” But he interjected,”Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!”

His Wife said: “Oh,really?”
He shouted: “No one in our family has performed so badly,ever!”

The son said: “Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”

The man became humbled and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on his face,he replied, “Son,you don’t know. Those days food was scarce.” 🤦🏽‍♀
😁😁😂😂🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

*MORAL OF THE STORY*
James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

Apart from: “I love You”; “I miss you”; “I cant live without you”,
Which other joke do you know??

Ladies when cooking for your in-laws especially for the first time their is that voice that tells you “add more salt” “add more salt” don’t do it,, repeat never ever do that,,, it’s a voice of the village witches trying to scutter your marriage

Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.

My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me an onion is the only food
that makes you cry,
so I threw a coconut at his face.

I am not accepting friend request with no
profile picture ..if you’re afraid of your own
face . Then so am I

Before u fall in love, test the strength of your heart by playing
soccer bet with your rent.*

When you tell your parent a funny story
then it turns into a life lesson

Rainbow came back home & found his wife
crying
Rainbow:What’s wrong dear?
Wife:Your son called me a bitch
Rainbow:Mxm I’m gonna kill that son of a
bitch

When my crush says she loves guys who know Mathematics…
i make effort to impress :
.
Me : You’re so vertically beautiful and the horizontality of your face is the square root of my love…mh I love you simultaneously