A patient went to his Doctor who said, “I have bad news and really bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asked the patient. “You only have 24 hours to live” said the Doctor. “That’s terrible, what could the really bad news be?” The Doctor replied, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you since yesterday!”
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Never Mess Around With Ugly girls Bruh
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They Are So Fertile,
Once You Kiss Her Boom!! She’s Pregnant
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Jealousy can make an African girlfriend read all the 400 comments on her boyfriend’s post & check their profiles..!
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Conversation between a Teacher and Mbula….
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Teacher : Assume your in the jungle and a lion is about to attack you,what will you do.?
Mbula : I will stop assuming.
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In Which Category Are You?
1. SH – Single and happy
2. SF – Single and Flirting
3. SS – Single and Searching
4. TH – Taken and Happy
5. TNS -Taken but Not Satisfied
6. UC – Ultimate cheater
7. FA – Forever alone.
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A man can work for 10years with unemployed wife and still be happy, But a woman will work 5days and the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.
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Me : babe it’s OVER 😔😔…
My abusive girlfriend : What??? 😠😠😡😡
Me : it’s over the table babe🙁🙁
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[Dear Ladies]
Sometimes you just gotta tell your Man:
”Never mind my other man will do it”..!
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A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband: ‘Honey if I die, how long would it take you before you marry a another wife…?!
The man replied….’ till your grave becomes dry my love
Then she said: Are you promising me this…?!
“Of course darling… I promise you “.
And after her demise, her husband began to visit her grave everyday for a period of one year.
*And the grave was always wet, it never became dry…!!!”
And a day came when he visited the graveyard in the evening, he found her brother in the graveyard.
“He then asked him: “Jason what are you doing here…?”
He replied :.. I’m fulfilling the wish of my only sister. She said I should please come here everyday to wet her grave”
WOMEN….
I tell you honestly … they rock…. alive or dead
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A Lecturer Teaching Medical Was Tutoring A Class On Observation.
He Took Out A Jar Of Yellow-Coloured Liquid. This, He Explained, Is Urine.
To Be A Doctor, You Have To Be Observant Two Color, Smell, Sight And Taste.
After Saying This, He Dipped His Finger Into The Jar And Put It Into His Mouth.
His Class Watched On In Amazement, Most, In Disgust!
But Being The Good Students That They Were, The Jar Was Passed,
And One By One, They Dipped One Finger Into The Jar,
And Then Put It Into The Jar And Then Put It Into Their Mouth.
After The Last Std. Was Done, The Lecturer Shook His Head!
The Lecturer: “If Any Of You Had Been Observant, You Would Have Noticed,
That To Put My Second Finger Into The Jar And My Third Finger Into My Mouth.“
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A very good day to this esteemed group, premised on my comprehension and appreciation of my submission to the established fact that The Creator, did not allow the devil’s modus operand to breach our peaceful recess from our daily activities during the night. That concludes my submissions my lords and ladies
Satan didn’t hear anything!!!
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Dear satan….
Stop hiding behind bo katlego……we all know its you!!!!
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A pastor announced,”If u know ur wife is controlling u,move to the left”. All men in the church moved to the left except one man.
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The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man,and asked,”How come ur wife can’t control u?”
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The man quietly replied,”Its my wife who told me not to move”.
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*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR
MATHS EXAMS*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have
dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy
spending on her like there is no tomorrow.
eventually she drops you and concentrates on
her innocent husband. Calculate the
percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife
and she gave it to her husband. Using
trigonometric identities, derive a general
formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies
and every lady is demanding for a Samsung
Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices
of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future
poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against
volume of apologies to your family members.
*(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking
other people’s wives yet you don’t want to see
your wife on the social network. Calculate the
Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *
(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a
petty trader, your combined household income
is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is
awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s
and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each.
Calculate the Percentage of your Parental
Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and
you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use
the law of diminishing Return to calculate the
substance that will be left for your husband to
enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife N10,000 for a
pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in
bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take
π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
8.* You have been in the church and in your
fellowship for years but your name is not in
the book of LIFE because of the secret sin.
Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? *
(30 mark)*
_*BEST OF LUCK!*
Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share
to all your friends because the question
papers are not many to go round
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Heineken=R20
Brick=R3
Someone is going to drink 8 rooms in December
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This is the 1st year that I could not go to Durban July due to Covid19.
It is usually due to lack of money
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