* Serious Warning *
On 31st Of December Around 11:59PM Please Do not go Outside yo house otherwise you’ll come back next year .
Please tell everyone care For.
Loading views...
Mom on Christmas:
“Take screwdriver unscrew TV and take out custard and mayonnaise”
Me: 😲😳
Loading views...
Imagine dating a broke man but his family think
you’re with him for the money..
Loading views...
Give Him 20 chances Than To give 20 different Guys a chance…
chose to be Stupid Than to be a Hoe
Loading views...
Medical Self Care Tips to all my friends who take alcohol this Xmas.
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure : Manoeuver glass until open end is facing upward…
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You’re lying on the floor.
Cure : Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : you are looking through an empty glass.
Cure : Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You’re being dragged away.
Cure : At least ask where they’re taking you!
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it
Cure : Stop making a fool of yourself, position your glass correctly
6. Symptom : Your wife and all your kids are looking funny.
Cause : You’re in the wrong house.
Cure : Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You’re in an ambulance.
Cure : Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST
Loading views...
Always keep ur picture in ur pocket,
u know y..
Whenever u face any problem just see ur pic and say 3 times,
if i can face this then i can face anything.
Loading views...
Woman Cheats in a marriage the husband will
beat her, Man Cheats ,the wife will beat the side
Chick. Women they Suffer.
Loading views...
Skilled Workers Are Hard To Find .
That’s Why Idiots Are Promoted To Management
Loading views...
Your girlfriend will always tell you about the guys
she rejected not the ones she accepted.
Be wise
Loading views...
I smoked weed this morning , I have not yet seen any after effects,
but I fell from a 3 storey building,
i don’t remember if i died or survived.
Loading views...
She thinks ii gave her my number,
the first 3 digits is my bank balance R0.76..
Loading views...
*Black parents will compare you with other kids*
_But when you compare them with other parents._
*Hehehehe my friend you will be homeless*
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Loading views...
A married man left work early one Friday,
but instead of going home,
he spent the weekend partying with the
boys. When he finally returned home
on Sunday night, his wife really got on his
… case and stayed on it.
After a few of hours of swearing and
screaming, his wife paused and
pointed at him and made him an offer.
“How would you like it if you
didn’t see me for a couple of days?”…..
The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and
said, “That would suit me just fine!!”
Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little
out of the corner of his left eye.
Loading views...
Kiss her in front of that nigga she calls Bestie,
and when that idiot coughs, grab his neck…it’s him..!
Loading views...
I have one friend who always wear one outfit when
we going out.. nd he always asks me “how Do i
look?” Come on dude, You look like last week
Loading views...
EFFECTS OF BEING A BACK
BENCHER IN CLASS
A little boy was doing his maths
homework He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of a b!tch
is seven. Three plus six, the son of
a b!tch is nine…” His mother
heard what he was saying and
gasped, “What are you doing?”
The ittle boy answered, “I’m
doing my maths homework,
Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher
taught you to do it?” the mother
asked”Yes,” he answered
Infuriated, the mother asked the
teacher the next day,
“What are you teaching my son in
maths?” The teacher replied,
“Right now,we are learning
addition.” The mother asked,
“And are you teaching them to
say two plus two, the Son Of a b!
tch is four?” After the teacher
stopped laughing, she answered
“What I taught them was, two
plus two THE SUM OF WHICH, is
four.”
Loading views...