Interviewer : Can you handle pressure
.
Me : Yes 😊👀 I owe my Landlord Six month rent allowance ,and I still don’t care 🤔
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What is the first sign of getting old ??
*Grey Hair….*
No!!
*Loss of Memory….*
No!!!
*Wrinkles in Face….*
No!!!!
*Doctors Prescription and Medicines….*
No!!!!!
*Baldness….*
No, no, no!!!
Then what!!!!!??????
_*When Your Wife Stops Suspecting You*_.!😀😀😀😀
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Two immigrants from Africa went to America and they were told that in America they eat dogs.
–
So they went to a restaurant and order a “hot dog”. They opened it and
–
The other guy asked the other “hey which part did you get?”
–
The other one replied “eyii you won’t believe it, i got the penis of the dog”
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Better to date a drunkard than to date a pastor
who is sleeping around with all the church
members.
.
Can I get an Amen.
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When I’m thinking of stop drinking alcohol
BuT something reminds me that my parents didn’t raise a quieter!!!!
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math
problems when his teacher picked him to
answer a
question, “Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a
fence and you shot one with your gun, how
many
would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny,
“cause the rest would fly
away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the
teacher, “but I like
the way you’re thinking.” Little Johnny says,
“I have a question for you. If there
were three women eating ice cream cones
in a shop,
one was licking her cone, the second was
biting her
cone and the third was sucking her cone,
which one
is married?” “Well,” said the teacher
nervously, “I guess the one
sucking the cone.” “No,” said Little Johnny,
“the one with the wedding
ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.
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A house girl asked her madam to increase her salary. The madam ask her to give 3 reasons why she need her salary to be increased…
*House girl:I can cook better than u
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam: OK second reason….!
*House maid:I can iron better than u.
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam:OK,last reason.
*House girl:I’m also better than u in bed(Madam got furious, grabbed a stick to smash her head)
*Madam:Did my husband say that?
*House girl:No,the driver told me I’m better than u in bed.
*Madam:Shhhh!Lower ur voice please! I will increase ur salary immediately. You’re such a hard working girl.
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Tall girls only date short guys just to
use their T-shirt as crop tops
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– i Might Just Go To Jail So That
i Can Save Myself From The Pain Of Being Broke
This DECEMBER 😔
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Old people will act as if they know everything
until its time to Load Airtime
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Nyaa gambled with all his university money at the casino before even the end of the first term ,
He calls his father at home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing into! They actually have a program here in school that will teach our dog, phezukwakhe, how to talk!”
“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Phezukwakhe (the dog) into the program?”
Nyaa smiling said, “Just send him down here with R15 000. “I’ll get him into the course dad.”
So, his father sends the dog and R15000. About two weeks to the end of the first term, Nyaa gambled and ran out of money again
His father called
“So how’s Phezukwakhe doing son?” his father asks.
“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this, they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”
“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! I’ll love Phekwakhe to read too!”
Nyaa smiling said, “That will be no problem dad. Just send R40000, I’ll get him into the class.”
The money promptly arrives. But Nyaa then had a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he killed the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
“Where’s Phezukwakhe? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”
“Dad,” Nyaa says, “I have bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we wanted to drive home, Phezukwakhe was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading a Newspaper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still sleeping around with that woman who lives in town?”
The father exclaimed, “I hope you killed that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!
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New Love is nice, until you find out it’s Made in China
due to factory faults of Boferbe
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If you’re reading this you’re the second most beautiful person in the world, first is me
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Bro if you are broke tell her you are broke
Not I will see what I will do
You will do nothing
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If your girlfriend picks up a call and start pressing the volume key down, that’s him.
That’s your deputy
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_*A SINCERE APOLOGY:*_
_A man received this message from his neighbor_…
_”Sorry sir_, _I have been using your wife day and night when you are not at home, in fact_, _much more than you do_.
_I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty_. _Hope you will accept my sincere apologies_.” _I will pay if you wish to charge service fee_
Immediately after reading the message, the man shot his wife dead.
A few minutes later, he received another message:
“Sorry sir, a spelling mistake…
I meant _*WiFi*_ not ~Wife~.”
Patience is a Virtue.
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