teacher: anyone who thinks they are stupid stand up..”Nobody stands”
Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students in the class”
Little Jonny stands”
teacher: oh little Jonny so u think u are stupid??
Little Jonny: no mam I just felt bad because u were standing alone

Teacher: Can You Support Your Answer

Me : Viva My Answer Viva

*QUOTE of the day*
*Don’t tell people to get married because
their age mates have married. Even you,
your age mates have died, but has anyone
forced you to die?*

I don’t see any reason of eating with a Fork & Knife🍴
The animal is already dead, so weapons are useless..!

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

A new sign in the Bank reads:
‘Please note that this Bank is
installing new Drive-through cash
machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their
accounts.
After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE Procedures have
been developed. Please follow the
Appropriate steps for your gender.’
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. LOWER your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter
PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Put hand brake on, put the window
down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents
on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on mobile phone you
will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into
machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier
access to machine due to its
excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary
with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN .
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct
PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check make-up in rear view
mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate
purse and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque
book and place receipt in back of it.
18. Re-check make-up.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull
off.
25. Redial person on mobile phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Hand Brake.

He will be like ‘please babie send me your pic… you send👩.
After few minutes please babie send a full one😋😚.
Nxaaa what exactly do you want to see???
Some guys yrrrrrrrr

Cheating was all fun and games until
girls started to cheat too.

Oh Lord! When our crushes have updated their status We’re being forced to react with haha😂 even though it’s not necessary just to get their attention

If you didn’t smoke🚬 WEED🌿 before it was Legalised,
Please don’t start now because you weren’t there when we fought for freedom😏

When l brought girls back home to meet my
mother she didn’t like any of them,
so l picked one that resembled my Mum then my
dad didn’t like her