I like to make people laugh. If I don’t make you laugh,
remember I said ‘people’ not animals..!

Introducing your female friends to your boyfriend is like
displaying different kinds of meat to a dog…
My sister it will eventually eat them all.

A sick woman was lying on her sick bed with
her husband by her side,
She turns to the husband and said
WIFE : Honey, I have a confession to make….
HUSBAND : Save your strength my dear!
WIFE : [Cuts in] Nooo, I want to say it so that
when I die my spirit will be at rest.I have been
stealing your money and giving it to my boyfriend,
You’re not the father of our son Junior, I was the one who stole
your gold wrist watch and hide it in your
sister’s bag so that you’ll drive her away..
Please forgive me
HUSBAND : I know all this, that’s why I poisoned you.
Keep calm Let the poison work…. s

Anyone dating my future wife should please take it easy on her 2day… even if she says, “Hit me Harder!” and “Faster!” Or “Tear it!”, Please don’t mind her!
…I’m begging you in the name of God, she doesn’t know what she’s saying ..
Please!

Not all men are trash…..and not all men are dogs….
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Some of them are garbage!!!!!

When short people smoke weed
they don’t get high, they get medium.

*WARNING*

Beware of the airtime these days, they have started making airtime which can kill you when you make a call or when recharging,so please before you recharge your accounts send those digits to me so that I can verify if its original airtime. Please I want to save your life!!. BE WARNED.

I just like it when these pretty boys,
become gays.
That means more girls for us

I remember one time when I was in the supermarket
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I saw a kid crying while throwing tantrums just because her mom didn’t buy her favourite chocolate
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Due to my clean heart..I bought the chocolate and ate it in front of the kid

*Some ladies should put learner signs [L] at the
back of their high heels,
you can’t just be walking like a
newly born goat infront of me*

Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.

Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them.

Then she finally picked up one dress.

It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

The husband settled the bill and commented :
“Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time.”

Ultimate comment of wife :
“Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop…”

Moral ::: Never argue with a woman while shopping.

So Ladies please tell me where does it hurt in your body when you spend your own money??

I just washed a “Polo” shirt I bought from China mall
this afternoon and
the man on the horse decided to stay in the water