Whoever sold a calculator to my Grandma
as a phone your days are numbered

After a big accident, John was crying “Oh my word! I have lost my left hand?”
Phiri: Control yourself my friend!
Stop crying! See that man he has lost his head, is he crying?

I said I will pay back at the end of the month…
I didn’t say which month….
Be patient my friend

Everything is changing, even pregnancy is no
longer 9 months again Somebody will get
married in April & give birth in August

Old Doctor and A Young Doctor.
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating & see if that does the trick?”
As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine tht woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”
“I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick.”
The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
“You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her, “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?” “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope &, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed.”

Bus drivers should stop this nonsense of moving a bus
before a person sits!
One ugly girl nearly kissed me in the bus today

When someone says: “I don’t want a relationship right now”. The “at least not with you” is silent..!

There was a beautiful girl in a village admired by four men.
SINGER
HUNTER
DOCTOR
FISHERMAN
One day,she went to wash her clothes by the river coincidentally the four men where there watching her, All of a sudden a crocodile bit her and dragged her into the water.
The SINGER composed a beautiful song ,the crocodile raised its head above the water to listen to the song,
The HUNTER shot it,and it was dead . The girl floated on the water.
The FISHERMAN dived in and brought her out to the shore then,
The DOCTOR treated her and she was well again.
Now who deserves to marry the girl among the four men?
Need answer from intelligent people like U!!!!!

Got examined by the Doctor. He said, “Can’t
find anything wrong, it must be the drink.”
Me: “OK, I’ll come back when you’re sober.”

If your dad doesn’t have a beard,
you’ve got two Mums.

A little boy was doing maths homework, saying to himself, 2+5 the son of bitch is 7,
3+6 the son of bitch is 9
His mother heard this & asked “what r u doing?”
Boy, “doing my maths’ homework”.
Mom: & this is how ur teacher taught u?

Boy: “Yes”

Infurriated mother called the teacher: R u teaching maths to children by saying 2+2, the son of bitch is 4?

Teachr started laughing & answerd: “what I taught them was, 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4…

Know The Difference Between Enjoying Your Youth And
Destroying Your Future

lf you scared of dying alone then
become a bus driver