HUSBAND: Call the ambulance, fast! I am having a heart attack.
WIFE: (took his phone) Quick! Tell me the Password!
HUSBAND: It’s ok… I am feeling better now

Doctor:How are you?.??
Patient:I’m fine doctor…
Doctor: Next patient please!!

8ta daar, My name is Desmond Dube.. most of you know me as a clientele ambassador and an actor but in my private life, I’m a father and a husband.. It brakes my heart to know that many families don’t have funeral covers.. If you can afford a takeaway then u can afford a funeral cover so join clientele now.. SMS “Join” to 38338 Clientele Life.. it’s your final gift of love..

*I found a guy today drinking his beer at 6:30 am.*

*I asked him: “Isn’t it too early for you to be drinking ?”*

*He replied: “Ooh really, at what time do throats open?”*

*I walked away…*

*Now minding my own business…*

My girlfriend went to study abroad and came back with a baby who looks exactly like her. I asked her what that was all about and she said that the child was given to her as a token of appreciation for her good behavior in campus. She thinks am stupid, well am not. I know she probably stole that child or something.

Girlfriend: babe why didn’t you give me anything for my birthday?😕
Me: You told me to surprise you

WHICH ONE DO YOU HAVE??👇🙋💁

-Gold tooth 😊
-Brackets (.)
-Silver tooth 😊
-Kiss kiss /
-Tattoo🤦🏽‍♀
-Hairy legs😝
-Small eyes👀
-Big eyes👂🏼
-Dimples
-Thick lips👄
-Gap tooth

I’m thinking of deleting my Facebook account 😭😭😭😭
my only problem is that I’m going to miss my Whatsapp friends

5 year old me : when I grow up i want to be a Doctor.
14 year old me : anything is fine by me as long as I’m working.
At the age of 26 : clap your hands everyone for Dj Chicken

Got so broke one time that when
my chick came over I stole R80 from her purse
and gave her that same R80 for taxi fare

To those girls who give their numbers to guys and then ignore their calls or block them .why did you give them your number in the first place?
This is the reason why guys give you babies and ignore you!!!

HOW TO LOCATE YOUR WIFE IN A CROWD WITHOUT WASTING YOUR CREDIT

If you go to a function, and there are many people. suddenly, your wife went to greet her friend, from there you can’t locate her again, don’t stress yourself calling her, just look for another beautiful lady and start talking to her, before you ask of her name your wife will be standing next to you…..

Its another way of saving your phone credit