Ur father’s side of the family might not care about you
but ur mother’s side has the deadliest Snakes hiding behind smiles

Husband (text): Babe I was in an accident. I got hit by a car. Zinhle took me to the hospital.
I have a dislocated shoulder and the doctors say I may never walk again…
.
.
Wife: Baby, who the hell Zinhle???
.
.
Girls 😂😂😂

When the cameraman is your boyfriend
you appear more frequently on the church screen
than the preacher

I am that kind of guy who put a song on repeat
until the artist begs for Water

Imagine being a joke to people because of
what your partner does behind your back..
Stay Strong My Child!

Men who give their women ATM CARDS and PIN have a special corner in heaven with airconditioner and free Wi-fi access

I took a taxi from bus rank yesterday although I knew very well that I did not have money to pay.😖When we stopped at a robot,😶
I quickly got out of the taxi and I fled away🏃‍♂️.
Unfortunately there was also a Police Officer in the taxi.
He got out too and chased me 🏃🏿👮🏼.
In my zigzag run I only managed to get for some distance😞😫.
The cop was catching up😨…He took out his gun and shouted “Freeze😠”! I stopped running😦 and raised my hands to surrender😞.
The cop pointed his gun at me andSays”Bro🤨.. ,just keep on running🏃‍♂️ so that I keep chasing you🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️… I also don’t have money to pay the taxi driver

Today’s kids are so spoilt that they don’t know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the followingv reasons:

1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing while the elders are seated
5. Sitting while the elders stand
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder
8. Not replying back to an elder
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished
11. Not greeting visitors
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly
22. Eating too quickly
23. Eating too much
24. Eating too little
25. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up
26. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
27.Stumbling and falling when walking…

ME: Babe, which letter does the word “Tuesday” end with?
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HER: Y
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ME: I just wanna know

At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
*The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor*.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
*The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.*”

Never joke with science students…. A science
student can prove anything for 10 marks.
.
Question:
Prove that “PAPA = MAMA.”
.
Answers
1) Education Student:
”Out of course”
2) Art Student:
”No Way”
3) Commerce Student:
”Cannot be proven”
.
4) Science Student: It’s Simple! Solution As
we know,
Pressure(P)= Force/Area
i.e P = F/A
∴F = PA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅ (i)
.
Now, according to Newtons 2nd law of
Motion,
Force(F) = Mass(M) × Acceleration(A)
i.e F =MA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅(ii)
From equations (i) and (ii)
PA = MA
Squaring both sides,
(PA)² = (MA)²
∴ PAPA = MAMA

Rihanna : Shine Bright Like A Diamond
– Albert Einstein : Diamond Don’t Shine idiot 😡 , They Reflect