I CAN’T WAIT 2 MARRY SO DAT I CAN BE STEALING MEAT FRM D POT ND MY WIFE WE BLAME IT ON D CHILDREN

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

Rabbits Jump And They Live For 8 Years.

Dogs Run And They Live For 15 Years.

Turtles Do Nothing And They Live For 150 Years.

“Today’s Lesson Learned“

Next time I take a lady out I’m inviting her ex….
I need to hear both sides of the story,
you ladies lie too much when you see food😂

A Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the Whistler’s name. No one answered.

The Professor peacefully kept the Pen in his pocket saying: “Lecture ends here. I’ll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time”.

Everyone became interested.

“Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I’d better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride.

Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party. Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help. She asked me if I could drop her at her house, that she’ll be very obliged, to which I agreed.

She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don’t.

When we got to the address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and said that she had fallen in love with me.

I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I’ve also started liking her. I told her about my job as a professor in the university.

The girl asked for my number, which I gave her willingly. Then she asked me a favor, which I couldn’t have denied naturally.

She said that her brother is a student in the same university and asked me to take care of him, since we’ll be in a long relationship now.

I asked the name of the student. She said that I’ll recognise him with one of his very prominent qualities, *He whistles a lot!*

All eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled…

The professor said: *”I didn’t buy my Ph. D in Psychology.. I earned it”!*
😂😂😂😂

Some girls they will spend the whole time
in a relationship trying to catch a nigga
cheating instead of being happy..!!

I’ve just killed a mosquito that bitten Me 5 years Ago 😬
.
That N*gga thought I forgot his face

The distance between Egypt & Canan is only 625km.But Moses and his crew took 40 years to cover the Distance
That means they were walking about 15km per year. That is just a bit more than a kilometer per month and only 43 meters per Day. Someone, please find me Moses He should explain to us what kind of laziness was that

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
“Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat”

Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*”You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,”*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in class he posed the following question:
“Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?”

Without hesitating, Mandela responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
“I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”

Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *”Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela’s exam sheet the word *”IDIOT”*
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

“Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade.”

Don’t mess with intelligent people.

got a lift from a Golf 7 GTI today it was amazin……when i got off i almost gave the guy my number, Ladies i understand now