My sister, if you like him, just walk up to him and say it…
Stop trying to send signals, you are not a TV Antenna

I want to eat but my friend is showing no
signs of leaving

There was a man who used to cross the border,from S A to Zim. Every month he would be on a bicycle carrying some riversand. The customs officer searched him thoughroughly and would find nothing in the sand. They would then give him a smile and let him pass. He did that for years and years still the officers wondered what was in the sand. After the man had stopped crossing the border he met one of the retired customs officer,and he asked tell me what were you up to carrying all that sand? The man smiled and said apparently I was smuggling bicycles!

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry.
Just remove the battery from the clock and
enjoy life….

Hi guys, I would like to let you know that next Monday is my last day here in Zim, I am travelling to England to study Industrial Engineering. I will be away for three years. May God be with
all. I will miss you all. Please forward this message to everyone who knows me. I have just forwarded the message as I received it. I don’t even know who is travelling.

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
“To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,” the attorney reads.
“To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.”
“And finally,” the lawyer concludes, “to my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong” (Nyaa smiles hysterically)
And the lawyer continued…
“To my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong,
Hi Nyaa!”

If you spend more time on Facebook than WhatsApp,
then you’re probably single.

Her : babe its over
Me : Whats over?
Her : My love for you
Me : Okay let’s use mine

I decided to travel to the USA
THE VISA interview went as follows at the US Embassy:

Officer : So where you going in the USA?
Me : San Jose
Officer : it’s pronounce San Hose, J is pronounced as H in the US.
Me : Oh… Okay!
Officer : How long you planning to stay?
Me : From Hanuary to Hune or Huly…😕😕

Do you think I got the VISA?

Guys I think my phone is acting up,
I keep pressing the home button but
when i look around I’m still at work

If I had just one hour left to live
*
*
I’d spend it in math class.
.
.it never ends.

I believe Pillow fight with bae must have ended in 2018.
This 2019, we are using frying pan!

Yesterday i introduced Bae to my mom she was so happy to meet her 😊
Tomorrow am going to introduce her to another one i want to make her proud

Your boyfriend’s Zambuk container is filled with Vaseline and you think you’re irreplaceable..

Who do you think you are?