hate people who use big English words
to make us feel perspicacious

Dear Grade 12’s

Keep facebooking after all, It’s your phone, your data and your life. On the other side exam papers are doing push-ups

The difference between Oo and oO

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.
I’ll see you back in court Monday.
“On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?
“”Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.
“”Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it? ”
“I used a diagram, your honor.
I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”
“That’s admirable,” says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”
“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”
“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says.
“I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison.

One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgiveness. The first man went to the Father and said: ” Father, Father I have sinned! ” Father: “What have you done? ” The first man:” I have lied! ” Father: “Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. ” And so the man drank the water and was “saved “. Then the second man went up to the Father and said:” Father, Father I have sinned! ” Father: “What have you done? ” The second man: ” I have stolen from the jeweler’s ! ” Father: “Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. ” And so the man drank the holy water and was “saved “. The third man went up to the Father and said: ” Father, Father I have sinned! ” Father: “What have you done? ” The third man: ” I peed in the Holy water! “

DECEMBER is Around The Corner 😠😡 ,
Now I’ll Be Forced To Take A Bath Each And Everyday 😓😏 ..
Because The Plans Just Appear Out Of The Blue

My mom knocked my door. I didnt
answer, she entered
my room and found me asleep. She
walked closer,
caressed my hair and slapped my face
saying “your last seen on messenger was 1 minute ago.
Stand up and go buy bread!!

The number she’s refusing to give you is the
same number another guy just deleted..
Don’t kill yourself

I’ve just met a fat police woman how does it come honestly to qualify there
you have to gym hard is SAPS for KFC or government am just confused

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND
TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE
HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING
SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER
STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH
A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE
YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, “HEY OLD
WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO,… I
NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO.”
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID
“WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA
DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED
SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S
FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR —
NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
BLOWN OFF –STARTED HOPPING
AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS
LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET
HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG
GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING,
HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED
AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER
PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-
BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED
BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE
CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING
IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE
WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE
CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD
WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING
HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN
NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD
WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY
SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED
A MULE’S ASS?”
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD
AND SAID, “NO M’AM… BUT I’VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR
ALL OF US:
1 – Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re
smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old people; they
didn’t get old by being stupid.

Today early in the morning around 04:27 when i was busy driving my Ferrari🚘 with my girlfriend going to town for shopping. Guess what………………..
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The alarm⏰ woke me up!!!
Shit some dreams cant even come true

BOSS:Do you believe in life after Death?

EMPLOYEE: “Certainly not sir! There ‘s no proof of it”, he replied.

BOSS : “Well, there is now.
After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,
He came here looking for you.”

EMPLOYEE: …………………..

A Russian While Visiting India Went For An Eye Check Up.

The Dr. Shows The Letters On The Board “CZWXNQSTAZKY” & Asked.

Doctor: “Can You Read This?”

Russian: “Read? I Even Know This Guy. He’s My Cousin.”