2019 we Dont Need a President We Mustn’t Vote At All ..
We Need Time As a Country To Find Ourselves

Girls have this tendency of slapping guys when
they are mad Never try that white movie thing on
me I will hospitalize you

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.
WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got
washed.. I wrote your name in air, it was
blown away. Then I wrote your name on my
heart & I got Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created
YOU.
WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should
know what you are And once you know
what you are Mental hospital is not so far
HUSBAND: The rain makes all things
beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful Why
doesn’t it rain on you?
WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you, should be kept in zoo.
Don’t feel so angry you will find me there
too Not in cage but outside, laughing at you.
Mention your friends

12 Rules of Street Football⚽

When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣

No one runs faster than a girl with makeup
when it suddenly starts raining….
Even a cheetah cannot catch her

A man enters a bar and the bartender comes over and asks, “Can I help you, sir?”
The man answers, “What does a cup of coffee cost in this place?”
The bartender says, “That would be $2.60.”
“Alright, I’ll have one,” says the man. He takes 26 dimes out of his wallet and throws them all on the ground. The bartender doesn’t want to get involved in a fight so he just picks up the money and he brings the man his coffee.
A week later, the same man enters the bar. He orders a coffee again but this time he pays with a five dollar bill.
The bartender smelled an opportunity for revenge so when he brings the coffee, he throws 48 nickels on the ground as change. The man drinks his coffee leaving the change on the ground. A few minutes later he throws two dimes on the floor and orders a second coffee.

When he says “You are the only woman in
his life” well, My Sister. it is true he is not
lying because the others are girls

Black Tax was not a problem when it took you to school and raised you but now that you are working and have made it, It has suddenly become a burden?
I’m not quite sure how helping your own family becomes a burden especially if you were once helped too?

*TODAY I DECIDED TO CAUSE TROUBLE!!!*
I went to a RESTAURANT and couldnt get a table. After seeing every table being occupied by couples, I took out my phone and made a very loud phone call, saying,
“My friend, your wife is here with another man just come and see”
Nine women DISAPPEARED!!!! And I got a table

Guys plz teach me to cook corn flakes
but I’ve already added tomato n onion…
what else should I add

`THIS IS A KILLER“`🀄

This is how I stopped dating school girls:
She came to my place in a school uniform, looked into my eyes and said, “Sweetheart, I have missed my periods.” That’s when I fainted and woke up in a hospital. I overheard her telling the nurse that, “I didn’t know he cared so much about my school life, all I wanted to tell him was that, I had missed my periods for Maths and English, *(so that I could find time for him)*
but he fainted before I could finish.”