There are 2 thoughts in a girl’s mind
when they want to visit a guy for the first time.
“I will not have sex with him” &
“let me shave, just in case”

True Love Is When She Steal Her
Fathers Money And Give It To Me😏

A man gets home early from work and hears strange
noise coming from the bedroom, he rushes upstairs only
to find his wife naked on the bed sweating and panting.
“What’s up” he asked” I am having a heart attack” the
woman cries. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for
an ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, his 4yr old son
comes up and says;”Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding
in your closet and he’s got no clothes on. The man slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom
past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe
door, sure enough, there is his brother totally naked on
the closet floor. “You idiot!” the man says, “my wife is
having a heart attack and you are running around naked
scaring the kids. Come on dress up we need to take her
to the hospital”. Describe the husband in one word

Sometimes Am Single,
Sometimes Am in a Relationship,
Sometimes Am Searching,
Sometimes It’s Complicated
It depends on who is asking

man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into Skebhe’s house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a Skebhe and his wife in bed.
.
He orders the Skebhe out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying Skebhe’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
.
While he’s in there, Skebhe whispers over to his wife:
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict.
Look at his clothes!
He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain… do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!”
.
Skebhe’s wife responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too!..

Why Did I Get Divorced ?

Well , Last Week Was My Birthday

My wife didn’t Wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.

As I entered my office, my secretary said:”Happy birthday, Boss “I felt so special.

She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, She invited me to her apartment.

We went there and she said,”Do You Mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute !?”

“Okay”, I said . She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake , My wife , my parents, my kids, my friends , and my colleagues all Yelling ,” Suprise !!!” While I Was Waiting On Sofa ….Naked

Ladies Please Date A Man With Money , Coz Almost All Man Are Unfaithful ..
So it is Much Better To Be Heartbroken in Dubai Sipping Guarana
Than To Be Heartbroken Sleeping On A Floor in Tembisa Next To A Public Toilet

The funny thing about being a comedian is that no one knows when you’re serious, I wasn’t feeling fine last night and I texted a doctor “Hello doctor, please I’m not feeling fine, I’m having a headache all over my body, my bones are shaking, and my stomach is making a serious noise like a class full of grade11 students, I can’t even talk, please come to my house right now”
.
And the doctor just replied with “Lol” 😂😂

😏😏he thought I was joking

They have✌2 colors lord..🙏
Your girls have✌2 colors..🙏
Their faces are yellow and their bodies are black oh Lord!

Bushiri can see people’s future but
he couldn’t see the police🚔 Coming 🤔
how inconvenient.!!

I remember sitting in class during my final year in varsity and
thinking to myself that everyone in this class
wants to be an economist and I just wanna rap

Huawei is like that girl you used to say she’s ugly in High school
then after Grade 12 she’s showing everyone flames.!

A Sotho man, a Zulu man and a Venda man were lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Zulu man came back and said to the king, “I brought 10 apples.” Then the king explained the trial to him, “You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The sotho man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy….1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Sotho man and Zulu man met in heaven and the Zulu man asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial.”
The Sotho man replied, “I couldn’t help it, when I saw the Venda man coming with Watermelons!”