Three simple steps to forget your ex:
1-Block your ex
2-Add me
3-Text me
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Skilled Workers Are Hard To Find .
That’s Why Idiots Are Promoted To Management
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I feel proud when I see my Ex girlfriends getting married. It shows that my relationship academy is doing well and it can provide wife materials….THANK YOU
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Husband And His Wife Were Having Dinner At Fancy Restaurant 😊💝🔐
As The Food Was Served
Husband Said:” The Food Looks Delicious, Let’s Eat ”
Wife :”Honey…You Say a Prayer Before We Eat At Home”
Husband:” That’s At Home Sweetheart…Here The Chef Knows How To Cook ”
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You take her to kfc for the first time.,
you be like babe what can i get u,
she be like”stop it i like it”
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Did I get left on read ?? Yes
Am I going to delete the conversation and pretend it never happened ?? Yes
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*My phone is very spiritual guys*
Last Sunday l went to church ,I walked almost half way then my phone starts showing “NO SERVICE” I returned home very happy I knew *there was no church that day
Thanks to my phone .
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Signs of a cheater:
When their phone has these emojis as constantly used:
💋😘😜😍🌹👍😂👀
but his chats are all empty and you did not recieve these emojis from him.
Wake up.
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“In High school, I was very poor in Maths and Chemistry. During the exams, i’d get between 2% an 8%. The results used to be announced out from the lowest to the highest marks. So i would always be the 1st or 2nd to be called out. One day the Maths results were being released and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out. The teacher got to 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s &70s. Still my paper had not been called out. Everyone kept looking at me asking” Man wats up? And the teacher went on to the 80s and when he got to 88%, he had one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Maths ? I was feeling very anxious and happy now that I knew I had proved the so called Genius wrong.. The whole class was amazed as every one kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, There is a cow who did not write his name on the paper that scored 0%. If you have not received your paper come and get it now”
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A Chinese dude walks into a restaurant and wants to order a chicken but unfortunately he can’t remember what “Chicken ” is called in English.
.
So the dude saw the other dude at the table next to him with a plate of 4 boiled eggs on it.
.
Then he points to the plate of 4 boiled eggs and says to the English waiter”Arrange me their mother”…
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Snakes for sale :
Adders – R80
Cobras – R70
Mambas – R90
Vipers – R100
Pythons – R120
Girls – R1000 ……..
Support Local Businesses
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Doesn’t matter how old i am when i see a jump castle i jump in
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When people around you succeed, it shows that the que is moving. Don’t be jealous but rejoice, your time is coming .
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Since I was born, I have never lived a year without Robert Mugabe being the President of Zimbabwe. 2018 is not real
Can someone tell me this is a joke
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Medical Self Care Tips to all my friends who take alcohol this Xmas.
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure : Manoeuver glass until open end is facing upward…
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You’re lying on the floor.
Cure : Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : you are looking through an empty glass.
Cure : Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You’re being dragged away.
Cure : At least ask where they’re taking you!
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it
Cure : Stop making a fool of yourself, position your glass correctly
6. Symptom : Your wife and all your kids are looking funny.
Cause : You’re in the wrong house.
Cure : Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You’re in an ambulance.
Cure : Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST
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Me: send me your nudes
Her:(typing..)
Me: so you’re typing your nudes vhele vhele
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