I have realised that Brazilian hair is not meant for every one. 😂 😂 😂
.
Because some ladies are looking like poor Somalians.
Whereas others are looking like divorced Indians.

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $1,500 or we can have her shipped back home for $50,000.” The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home. The undertaker asked him, “why would you spend £50,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $1,500?” The husband replied, “Long ago, a man (JESUS) died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!”

I Remember telling people who were in a Titanic that its going to sink and no one was interested in listening to me.
I screamed and said “get out now” and no one got off the ship. I screamed my lungs out and said “for the fucken last time, get out of that ship right now guys”.And That’s was the last time i warned the victims before i was thrown out of the cinema for good.

Ladies if your man is winning the argument😐
Just faint!

Her : Bbe Can I Saw You Today?
.
Me : It’s either you leave me or you leave English

A CCTV footage doesn’t scare me✋
I’ve denied my own fingerprints before

The only time where you’ll see a person
who has a gold/silver tooth closing their
mouth, is during a thunderstorm

Sex …..you cry
Break up ….you cry
Mensuration period…you cry
Child birth …you cry
Engalgement…you cry
Wedding ….you cry
Pass exams with flying colours…you cry

Ladies what exactly is your problem?????

Two single boys living away from home were talking among each other….

First -: “have you ever used a ‘ Recipe-book ‘ to make cooking..??”

The second boy :- “brought two-three, but the first step of making any recipe is the most difficult..!!”

First boy :- “which one..??”

Second boy :- *”take a clean pot..!!”*

Nobody keeps in touch like a female
you promised money

A man brings his best friend home for dinner at 7.30pm after work. He hadn’t shared with his wife so she was very
upset.

His wife begins screaming at him in front of his friend; and his friend is sitting there
looking shocked.

Wife: “The dishes are not done, the house is a mess, there is no grocery and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”

Husband: “Because he is thinking of getting married and I promised him a live demonstration!”