Only black parents will :
1. Beat you for going a long time without being beaten
2. Crying after being beaten
3.Not crying after being beaten
4.Looking at visitors while they eat.
5. Sleeping while visitors are already woke up
6.Fighting with your peers & losing
7.Fighting with your peers & winning
8.Walking aimlessly where the visitors are seated
9.Talking back when asked a question
10. Not talking back when asked a question
Black parents have some cruel & unusual punishment techniques

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•Single
•Taken
•Complicated
•Hoeing/febing
I dont know what is best for me

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Wife asked: What are u doing?
Husband: Am Killing mosquitoes?
Wife: How many did u kill?
Husband: Total 5. Two females, 3 males.
Wife: How do u know their genders?
Husband: 2 were near my wallet and 3 near the beer bottle

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I would like to apologize on my offensive jokes especially on people with gaps in their mouth..”I’m thory thumtimes I’m fery sthupid”..!

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5yrs old girl asked her mother: ‘ Mummy do all angels fly? Her mother replied; “Yes…. they do and why do you ask?” The girl said when you went to the saloon yesterday to make your hair, Daddy called our housemaid “My angel” Mummy will she fly? Mummy replied…. “Yes dear! She will fly back to her village tomorrow and she will never return again

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Early morning husband woke up and ask his wife: “Would you like to join me for jogging?”

Wife: “Ohh! So you mean to say I am fat?”

Hubby: “No. Jogging is good for health.”

Wife: “Oh . . . that means I am sick.”

Hubby: “No no. If you don’t want to get up, then it’s OK . . . ”

Wife: “So now you think I am lazy, ha?”

Hubby: “Nooo! You are misunderstanding me. I didn’t mean.”

Wife: “Aha! So I don’t understand you because I’m an illiterate, right?”

Hubby: “Now look I didn’t say that.”

Wife: “So am I lying? ”

Hubby: I beg you please don’t stretch it in the morning”

Wife: “Oh, now so I am a quarrelsome nag, abi?

HUBBY: “Ok ok . . . You go off to sleep. I am going jogging alone . . . happy now?.”

Wife: “You always go alone everywhere and enjoy yourself.”

Hubby: “Please, please. I am feeling giddy now ”

Wife: “See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself alone. You never think of my health.”

Grrrrrr . . . Husband is sitting and thinking where he went wrong.

Dedicated to all married men . . .

Thank you for always being patient with your wives . .

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When A Girl Claps Before Dancing,
Just Know She Is About To Dance Nonsense..

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Familie*The Kasama Brothel*

The madam opened the brothel door in Kasama and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties.

“May I help you sir?” she asked.

“I want to see Mwansa,” the man replied.

“Sir, Mwansa is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam.

“No, I must see Mwansa,” he replied.
Just then, Mwansa appeared and announced to the man she charged K5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand Kwacha and gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Mwansa. Mwansa explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.
There were no discounts. The price was still K5000. Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Mwansa and they went upstairs.

After their session, the man asked Mwansa to sign a receipt that she had received K15000. She was astonished nevertheless signed on the receipt and said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row and for sure this is the first time anyone has asked me to sign a receipt. Where are you from?”

The man replied, “Chipata.”

“Really”, she said. “I have family in Chipata.”

“I know.” the man said.
“Your sister died, and I’m her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver you K15,000 inheritance in person.”

Three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Being screwed by a lawyer
3. Wise men come from the east.
********************
If you have any question ask me
Another wiseman
😂😂😂😂

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Rainbow: Doctor my 5 years old son is very
naughty boy. He made our maid pregnant…
DOCTOR: nonsense….how is it possible???!
Rainbow: he took a pin and punctured all
my co***ms.

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An Economist Beautifully Explained Reasons For Having Two Wives.

1. Monopoly Should Be Broken.

2 Competition Improves The Quality Of Service.

3. If You Have 1 Wife, She Fights With You. But If You Have 2 Wives, They Will Fight For You.

Feel The Difference & Decide.

Note: Sender Not Responsible For Any Side Effects.

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I seriously can’t commit to a girl
who can’t make two cups of tea with one teabag, I’m sorry

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Girlfriend : “I want to end our relationship now,
i’m going to return everything u gave me”

Ronnie : “serious??, ok then let’s start with the kisses i gave u”

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When black coffee’s wife is angry
She closes the mayonnaise
Tightly

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When you’re Single you don’t even Care when your Battery🔋 is low..! ☝

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Are U 18 yrs & above?
Do u have a valid ID passport?
Can U speak English & any other language?
Are U lookin for a 9am – 5
pm Job with a Monthly Salary of N350,000 and a weekly allowance of N20,000?
No work during wkends & u only have to work half-day on Fridays?
If U’re interested in this Job, Pls contact me with Ur
full details … SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT 2GEDA…COS
Am also looking for that type JOB:😂😂😂😂😂😂

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