If salt can sell more than fruits without an advert,
you can get a good husband without going naked on social media

Doctor: Can I help you
patient: yes doctor. I have a really bad memory.
doctor: how bad is it?
patient: how bad is what?

*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and face booking other peoples’ wives yet you don’t want to see your wife on social networks. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than $500. Your daughter who is awaiting A level results is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth $800 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife $2for sitshebo, but you spend over $20 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
ALL THE BEST

The Japanese are obsessed with quality
and safety.
A safety warning notice for female
workers in a Japanese factory reads as
follows:
*If your skirt is long,*
*stay away from the Engines.*
*And If it is short,*
*stay away from the Engineers.*

If he comes back from work and sits in his car for a while.
Sister, his deleting the messages…
Yes, your rival’s messages..👌

My brother you are 35 years old, but you keep posting
“when i grow up…” what else do you want to grow? Horns?

Rabbits Jump And They Live For 8 Years.

Dogs Run And They Live For 15 Years.

Turtles Do Nothing And They Live For 150 Years.

“Today’s Lesson Learned“

IMAGINE YOU TAKING YOUR TALL GIRL TO THE ZOO,,
THEN GIRAFFE START CRUSHING ON HER
AYEYE!!!

During Lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, My husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Daring I have a surprise for dinner tonight”He blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.i took a sit and just as he was about to remove my blindfold , the telephone rang .

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were effecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go .

It was not only loud , but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump !! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously, then , shifting to the other leg I ripped off three more

The stink was worse then Cooked cabbage, keeping my ears careful tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes

The pleasure was indescribable eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I can quickly fanned the air a few more times with napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it Feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My Face must have been the picture of innocent. When my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked me if had peaked through the blindfold and I assured him I had not

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table with their noses, chorused, ” Happy Birthday”.

My fat neighbor wanted to hang her self now
the whole house has collapsed