Beautiful Girls Get 1k likes on Facebook And
Ugly Girls get Masters Degrees in real Life.

If you want your man to help you in the kitchen
Just borrow his phone torch
he’ll be following you up and down

Dating a neighbor is nonsense, you be receiving texts like:
“Babe is everything okay i saw you coming from the toilet..”

Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.

After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.

Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them.

Then she finally picked up one dress.

It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.

The husband settled the bill and commented :
“Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time.”

Ultimate comment of wife :
“Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop…”

Moral ::: Never argue with a woman while shopping.

Stop Answering Calls at the funeral…
someone Yesterday Said “Im at death”

If You’ve Never Forged Your Parents Signature in High School. You’re Not Black Enough

If you’re addicted to drugs and you tell yourself to Stop,
are you really gonna listen to a Drug Addict?

Teacher : what is beetroot..?

Mbali :It’s a Potato with high blood pressure..!!

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”
The Teacher fainted.

A man gets home early from work and hears strange
noise coming from the bedroom, he rushes upstairs only
to find his wife naked on the bed sweating and panting.
“What’s up” he asked” I am having a heart attack” the
woman cries. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for
an ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, his 4yr old son
comes up and says;”Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding
in your closet and he’s got no clothes on. The man slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom
past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe
door, sure enough, there is his brother totally naked on
the closet floor. “You idiot!” the man says, “my wife is
having a heart attack and you are running around naked
scaring the kids. Come on dress up we need to take her
to the hospital”. Describe the husband in one word

1st patient: doctor iqolo lami is very painful. I came home early today, i could swear i heard a man’s voice 4m my house bt wen i entered it was only my wife. I searchd evrywher bt saw nothing. When i went to the balcony i saw a man downstairs ephuma eflatini runing very fast and stil dresing up! I took the fridge and threw it at him and i hurt my back. 20 mins later 2nd patient came with bruises all over his head: Doc, i was very late for an interview. I left the flat runing and stil butoning my trousers coz i was late when a fridge 4m nowhere hit me on the head, thats how i got to be like this. 15 mins later 3rd patient came in, with severe bruises all over his body, worse than the 1st patient: Doc, i was sitting in a fridge when someone threw it 4m da balcony from 5th floor, thats how i got hurt…

Every Guy Has That Evil Friend
Who Force Him To Cheat