Him: bro can you stop
following my girlfriend?
Me: say please

if a guy text you to come and meet him at home my sister quickly switch off ur phone remove the battery and throw ur sim card away

Some Exes Need To Understand That Even If We Hear That They Are Now Doctors We Won’t Regret A Thing

Wife was driving…..

Husband – “Why dont you use indicators when you take a turn?”

Wife – “What do you mean use indicators…why should I?”

Husband- “So that other drivers know which way you are going.”

Wife- “Where I am going is none of their business*…!!!”

Husband – “Sorry…..”

On the 31st December, I hired 20 people on my non existant company, bcos I was drunk. Now they keep calling me, they wanna start working. What can I do guys?

Your soul mate is afraid to text you because
you are living fake expensive life here on social media

If sleeping is good for our brains,
why is it not allowed at school…?

When you’re having a sweet night chat with bae and all of a sudden she says ”Goodnight”.
my brother you’re a side bae.
It simply means her main boyfriend wants to sleep,
so you have to sleep too.I’m about to die because of my wisdom.

Grade 1 _ I wanna be a Doctor
Grade 10_i wanna go to Varsity.
10 Years Later_Ladies & Gentleman Put Your Hands Together For DJ Chicken

There Are Some People On Ur Friend List
Who
Look At Your Timeline All The Time
,But They Don’t Really Like You ,So They
Never Comment Or Like ,Anything You
Post…….
But They Won’t Delete You Cause They’re
Too Scared Not To Know
What You’re Doing

I don’t care how much I owe people .
On Payday, I go straight to KFC

Teacher: why aren’t there books in your desk

Me: I didn’t see you coming

While you are sleeping at your bae’s house and you hear your grandmother saying ′′ your house is going to get a monkey