TYPICAL AFRICAN
1: When making a call their finger is always on
the
end button, ready to cut the call.
2: Always check the airtime balance after each
call.
3: After cooking they always put the used
cooking
oil back in the bottle or cup for future use.
4: Empty coffee tins are used for storing sugar
&
salt.
5: When they boil milk they add water to
increase
its volume,
6: Empty mazoe & soft drink bottles are used
for
storing water in the fridge.
7: No matter how cheap something is they will
always ask for the price to be reduced.
8: If the bus conductor forgets to collect the
bus
fare they will also keep quiet till they get off.
9: When they buy mineral water they will not
throw
away the empty bottle instead they will just
refill it
with tap water
10. when they withdraw cash on ATM, they
recount the
cash in order to verify it.
11. If they buy meat or something delicious
they put in a transparent bag yet when buy
vegetables they put
them in black bag and use short-cuts
Am I lying?
How many shares?

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WIFE; I saw you in my dreams that you were buying a diamond ring for me… HUSBAND; I saw your dad paying the bill…

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Sometimes Take your Girlfriend For a Stroll at the Graveyard. Just to show her where she will be if she ever cheats on u.

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When someone is so sweet to u, don’t expect that they will be like that all the time because even the sweetest chocolate expires.

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Most guys will intentionally not put chairs in their rooms so that when a girl visits,she will have no other choice but to sit on the bed.These guys are called *Ministers of Strategic planning and Bedmatic affairs*

I just got fired for being their president

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Depression starts when you want an iphone and
a Brazilian while you’re unemployed

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Trevor : “do you know how to make someone really curious?”

Ronnie : “no why?”

Trevor : “i will tell you tomorrow”

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A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.

He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”

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I was sitting on the bus, then i tapped the lady in front of me and said “Excuse me, I think you have some ejaculate on the back of your jacket”. She looked around shocked and said “Oh! No, it’s probably just yoghurt from my breakfast”. “No no” I said….I don’t ejaculate yoghurt”.

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Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette 🚬, only use you when bored and step on you when they’re done.


Be like drugs 💊💉
*
let them die for you..

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Boy On Call: “Hello 911, I Need Your Help.”

911: “Okay, What Is It?”

Boy: “Two Girl Are Fighting Over Me.”

911: “So What’s Your Emergency?”

Boy: “The Ugly One Is Winning.”

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People change completely when
they start using iPhone📱
It must be the Apple 🍏
It changed Eve too.😕

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My Ex Posted a Pic yesterday With Her Bae And Got 3 Likes..
im so happy

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ATM’s should have a timer if u take long
it must swallow your card and spray teargas on u

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That awkward moment when your friend says keep chasing your dreams and you keep chasing his girlfriend.

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