If You Have A Happy Relationship,
Then You Are Obviously Dating The Wrong Person

Ever looked at some facebook friends and be like
When did i accept u 🤔?
Did u break in?

Being Blind is not a joke🤞
Ask people who are on “Free Mode”

You pay a visit to your friend in his house and you found out that he is taking his shower. You see a lottery ticket not scratched on his table. Since no one was there, you took it and scratched it and it wins $5000. With this joy in your heart, you put it in your pocket and you replaced it quickly with the ticket you yourself bought. When your friend finished his shower, he took the replaced ticket, scratched it in front of you and he won $3 million.
Now my question: What will you do?

In the interim, enjoy your torture!!!

I was born without my permission
All i wanted to be was a memory card

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,

“Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕”

She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote.”

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies…..*🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍

The story continues….😏

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, “your husband has blocked your credit card……….”😲😲😲😲😲😲

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Story continues….

Wife took out her husband’s credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own card.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues…

After swiping, the machine indicated, ‘ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE’…….

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues….

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband’s phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn’t call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate a desperate woman!*😷😷😷😷😷

Story continues….

On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈

A note was pasted on the door

“Couldn’t find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something”.😇😇😇😇

Damn!!… He left with the house key too.

😂😂😂😂

*Moral: Don’t try to control your husband.
You will always lose

Have you noticed???
~•°•~•°•~
Nobody Drinks Alcohol🍺
Faster Than Someone Who Didn’t Pay for it!!

Sometimes you have to call Bae and say “don’t cook tonight we are having KFC”🍜🍚🍛. Then switch off your phone and come back the next day.

am i the only one who wipes the floor with the dish cloth while no1 is watching…?

Dear Friends, may your life upgrade this year like Alexis Sanchez’s who…

1: Moved from 6th to 2nd place in the Premier League table without playing a match.

2: Jumped from Europa League to last 16 of Champions League without struggle.

3: Qualified for FA Cup 5th round regardless of Nottingham Forest defeat.

Amen!!!

*I am self employed so if you see me talking alone don’t bother to ask me , no problem ,maybe I have staff meeting

I no longer have strength to argue with people
who own phones with removable batteries..!

Some People Will Never Like Your Picture
Even if You Took it With Jesus

Hi guys
I need the wheelchair plz where to buy and
how much do they deliver or only for collection
can I place an order
my relationship is not going well