PATIENT: Can a pregnancy drink beer if 9
months is not arrive?
DOCTOR: Forget about the beer..this type of
English can cause miscarriage.

Nyaa was given an assignment to
find out what would happen to a
grasshopper after all its leg as been ripped off.

Nyaa couldn’t do it on his own so he brought the
grasshopper along with him to school.
In the teacher’s presence Nyaa started taking
the legs out one after the other
Nyaa said (after removing the first leg) “Jump!
Grasshopper jump!” the grasshopper jumped
he did this as he removed legs and the grasshopper
kept jumping upon removing the last leg
Nyaa said again “Jump! Grasshopper jump!”
but the grasshopper didn’t move,

the teacher who as been watching the
whole drama then asked Nyaa
“so Nyaa, what happens to a grasshopper
whose legs as been ripped off?”

Nyaa smiled and said “It looses IT’S ABILITY TO HEAR”

Bcoz there was no water in our flat today,a lady next door asked me to help her carry her 2×25 litre container of water up to 4th floor. She was like, “Thanks a lot, just put them down there by the door, my boyfriend is inside he doesn’t want guys company so he will wake up and take them inside”.*
*Once she went inside I carried them back downstairs.
I don’t tolerate Nonsense!!!!*

Kissing your Husband while he is asleep is one of the best gestures of love
but African women search pockets instead

I want to eat but my girlfriend is not showing any sign of leaving

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and
goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye
Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father
thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to
bed and listened to her prayers which went
like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless
Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day
the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going
to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless
Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically
went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and
jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh
of relief and went home. When he got home
his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so
late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve
just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day?
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
This morning the mailman dropped dead on
our porch!”

Birthdays are good for your health
Studies show people who have more brithdays tend to live longer..

When you’re Single,You See Happy
Couples Everywhere, But When you get
Married, You See Happy Singles Everywhere*.
*This witchcraft is difficult to explain*

When you’re in Bed with Bae and
you so wanna play with her hair …..
but it’s on the Dressing Table

I decorate my bedroom, to be like my classroom.
.
.
.
Just so that I can fall asleep easily…

I’m not alcoholic, I only drink twice a year…
When it’s my birthday, and when it’s not my birthday…

Other girls🤦 want friends so they can wear their clothes💯
& take selfies!