A real woman 👩will stay awake 😴the whole night just to make sure mosquitoes don’t disturb her husband.

After Smoking Weed
Boy1: what do you think will happen if I dial 11101 instead of 10111?
Boy2: maybe the police van will come on reverse

There was a man who used to cross the border,from S A to Zim. Every month he would be on a bicycle carrying some riversand. The customs officer searched him thoughroughly and would find nothing in the sand. They would then give him a smile and let him pass. He did that for years and years still the officers wondered what was in the sand. After the man had stopped crossing the border he met one of the retired customs officer,and he asked tell me what were you up to carrying all that sand? The man smiled and said apparently I was smuggling bicycles!

How to TALK 👍*
Talk to *Mother* _lovingly,_
Talk 2 *Father* _respectfully,_
Talk 2 *Brothers* _heartfully,_
Talk 2 *Sisters* _affectionately,_
Talk 2 *Children* _enthusiastically,_
Talk 2 *Relatives* _empathetically,_
Talk 2 *Friends* _jovially,_
Talk 2 *Officials* _politely,_
Talk 2 *Vendors* _strictly,_
Talk 2 *Customers* _honestly,_
Talk 2 *Workers* _courteously,_
Talk 2 *Politicians* _carefully,_
Talk 2 *GOD* _silently,_
Talk to *WIFE*
~no no~ ……
*KEEP QUIET & LISTEN ONLY…!!!*

Just imagine telling your kids you met their mother
on Facebook Free mode

Can you Solve This?😝
RiddlE
Which One Have Two Zero & Two four?
1. 0024
2.2024
3.0044

Bob Walked Into A Bar Around 9:58 Pm

He Sat Down Next To A Blonde At The Bar And Stared Up At The Tv Just As The 10:00 Pm News Was Coming On.

The News Crew Was Covering A Story About A Man Preparing To Jump Off The Ledge Of A Building.

The Blonde Looked At Bob And Said: “Do You Think He’ll Jump?”

Bob To The Blonde: “You Know, I Bet He’ll Jump.”

The Blonde: “Well, I Bet He Won’t.”

Bob Placed 20 Bucks On The Table And Said: “You’re On!”

The Blonde Also Placed Her Money On The Bar, Suddenly The Guy On The Ledge Did A Swan Dive Off The Building, Falling To His Death.

The Blonde Was Very Upset, But Willingly Handed Her 20 Bucks To Bob Saying: “Fair’s Fair, Here’s Your Money.”

Bob: ” Look Ma’am I Can’t Take Your Money. I Saw This Earlier On The 5 Pm News So I Already Knew He Would Jump.”

The Blonde: “I Saw It Too, But I Never Thought He’d Do It Again.”

Bob Took The Money.

Seeing A Couple Passing in Front Of My Home
Makes Me Wanna Release My Dogs ..
Like Why They Didn’t Use Another Street ? 😒

There’s No Need For Them To Advertise Their Relationship Here

I Don’t Give A Fvck Whether Your Bio Is Written “Taken”…
I’ll Assume That’s Your Favourite Movie.

When Your Crush Breaks Up With Her Boyfriend And
Hits You With A “Hey Stranger”🙆

I hate texting attractive girls they take their time to reply,
unlike ugly one’s they even reply before you text them..

I Don’t Care Whether We Started Dating 10min Ago ”
I Can’t Live Without You And We’ve Been Through A Lot”