A very successful Nigerian man parked his new lexus in front of his office ready to show it off to his collegues, as he got out a trailer passed too close and completety tore off the door, the man immediately grabbed his cell phone, called the police, and they arrived. before the officer could say anything the man was scereaming hysteriacally, my lexus!, my lexus!, will never be the same again no matter what the panel -beater did to it, the officer just looked at the man in disgust and shook his head, i cant beleieve how materialistic you are, he said, you are soo focused on your possessions that you dont notice anything else. how can you say such a thing? asked the man. dont you know that your left arm is missing from your elbow down, it must have been torn off when the truck hit you……….., oh my God replied the man, “MY ROLEX” wrist watch.

You will never hear a man with money complaining
about women loving money,
but these boys with coins…

Just imagine when you crack a joke for your girlfriend. 😂 😂 😂
.
Then you hear me laughing under the bed. What would you do ?.

Ladies ,Please understand that cheating on your boyfriend
hurts more than him cheating on you

The rule is simple, if she also can’t afford it…
Then she got no right to call you broke.
•°•°•
Don’t let these Girls confuse you..!!

Last Night i was with Trevor Noah, we were going to perform at a sell out crowd in New York. When we were about to start with the jokes…….behold…….my mother woke me up “Ronnie wake up and get ready for school”.
–
I’m still not talking to her

Whites: tooth spoon
Blacks : tiss spoon
Black People mara, I give up on you guys

*Corona Virus is now boring, next year we want something like vampires and zombies chasing us everyday. We need some action not social distancing.*

Yellow bones behave as if they were
there when God said let there be
light…😕!?

I just found my cousin’s SIM CARD who
died 4 years ago
I’m thinking of Texting his girlfriend and
say”Guess who’s back.

I think my loan shark wants to play golf with me
he’s at the gate holding a Golf stick… I’m so
excited

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

When you try to remove her panty and she
pretends to be asleep, then she slowly lifts
her waist to help you remove them.That’s
when you know you made it in life…

Sometimes you don’t need a goal in life,
you don’t need to know the big picture.
you just need to know what you’re going to do next!