Mai Chinoz goes to Home Affairs to register for child benefits. “How many children?” asks the assessor?
“Ten”she replies,
“Ten?” exclaims the Home Affairs worker.
“What are their names?”
“Assnut,Assnut,Assnut,Assnut, Assnut,Assnut,Assnut,Assnut, Assnut and Assnut ”
… “Doesn’t that get confusing?” “Naah…” says Mai Chinoz. “It’s
great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to
shout Assnut, YOUR SUPPER’S READY or
Assnut GO TO BED NOW and they all do it…”
“What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the perturbed Home
Affairs worker.
“That’s easy,” says Mai Chino… “I just use their surnames”

There’s always that one☝family member who always views your status
and tell the whole family..!

*If having a wife were like Soccer*

*Transfer Market*

Imagine

*Dube has accepted Nyathi’s $300.00 bid for his wife for 4 years, maSibanda*.

*Smith’s $222.00 release clause has been activated by her next door neighbour John William*

*MaNcube is now a Free Agent and indications are that Moyo might agree terms for a 2 year deal with her soon*

*Nyathi and Robert are competing to sign maSiziba this winter. The experienced female is expected to make a decision by end of this week*

Mother: “Nyaa mtanami I have a confession to make.
I should have told you long ago but I didn’t know how
you would take it. I’m sorry I slept with someone that
is not your dad 23 years ago.
And that person is your real father.”
Nyaa: “Mum, what rubbish are you telling me!
How am I to deal with this devastating news?!
You should be hanged for this.”
Mother: “Nyaa, I’m sorry he was my first love and
I could not marry him for reasons I want to keep private.
He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak
with his son for the first time ever.
Please take the phone and talk to him
Nyaa : “No I am speaking to any one.
I’ll never speak to him. Mr Mdlawuzo is the only father I know
and so will that be.
Mother: “Please don’t be so upset. Just say something to him.”
Nyaa : “Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!”
Nyaaa: “Helloee
Caller: “Morning Son, I am Bill Gates . I am your real father.”
Nyaa : “Dad! Dad!! Dad!!! Thank God! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Thank God!!!!!! Love you so much Dad!!!!!
I’ve always known there was something
special about me”
One word for Nyaa?

Where I’m from, when you kill a mosquito in the night,
the next morning,
you’ll hear that an old woman slept and didn’t wake up.

I’ll Never Forget That Day I Visited My Ex And I Was Served Rice And Chicken

While I Was Eating, Their Dog Kept On Moving Up And Down, Looking At My Face

I Told The Younger Sister” It Seems Your Dog Likes Visitors” And The Girl Replied” No , It’s Because You’re Using It’s Plate ” 😭😭 how could she do that to me ?

One day I’m gonna wear my Formal go to Coca Cola
grab a chair and start working.

If they call the police, i get into the police station and
start working there as well.

I’m tired of sending Cv’s

When a woman is crazy about you,
pray that she doesn’t get well,
because when you notice she is getting well,
it means another man is giving her medication.

I need some advice guys.
.
Recently my gf has been
receiving too many calls during very odd hours of
the night. She has also been coming home very
late saying that she was at a team building
meeting at work..
I called her boss and he said
they’ve not had any such meeting for the past
month. so yesterday when she said she was
going for a team building meeting i followed her
on my motorbike 🏍 after two blocks a guy stopped
his car hugged her and opened his car door for
her 💑🚗.
.
I was watching all that from a distance so
they wouldn’t see me.when they finally drove off i
tried to start my bike to follow them but it
couldn’t start. 😢
.
*What could the problem be guys.
The clutch ? Engine? Petrol? Plug? I’m so worried
about my bike

Just Because you’re In A Relationship doesn’t mean
you’re taken.
We can still take you or Borrow you..

Stop asking Girls if they Have a boyfriend. Take her out, buy her Food, Crack some jokes And make her laugh, give her Money and let her decide if she’s Single or not.

My mom can be so cool sometimes😎👇
.
Me:”mom I made a girl pregnant “😢
.
Mom:” son. .tell the girl to bring her parents over to our house…..
so we can both deny the pregnancy😏