When she starts posting “it’s my life,
i don’t care what people think about me”
just know she started sleeping with someone’s husband
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Stop looking for a perfect partner to date or marry… Na we wey remain b this,,, except if you go check heaven. 😅😅😅
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Boss asks Jonas, Jonas how do you get it right for 30 years of bringing me coffee every morning without spilling it?
Jonas’s answer, before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.
Jonas’s funeral is Monday.
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Girls if your boyfriend impregnants you
and run away, date your crush and blame
it on him, we don’t want fatherless kids
this year
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If you are a Married Man💍 and we see you with a side chic,
we organise a side nigga for your wife…
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😜 Joker’s should be left in the zoo.
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She told me she was coming to my place by 9 pm, But she came by 7 pm and caught me with another woman…
How can i forgive her for lying to me??😕
She’s not trustworthy
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Medical Self Care Tips to all my friends who take alcohol this Xmas.
1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure : Manoeuver glass until open end is facing upward…
2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You’re lying on the floor.
Cure : Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.
3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : you are looking through an empty glass.
Cure : Quickly refill your glass!
4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You’re being dragged away.
Cure : At least ask where they’re taking you!
5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear and trying to drink from it
Cure : Stop making a fool of yourself, position your glass correctly
6. Symptom : Your wife and all your kids are looking funny.
Cause : You’re in the wrong house.
Cure : Ask if they can point you to your house.
7. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You’re in an ambulance.
Cure : Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN CONFUSED IN
MY LIFE LIKE
THIS.
Two men met at a bus stop and
struck up a
conversation.
One of them kept complaining
about family
problems.
Finally the other man said, “you
think you have
family
problems? Listen to my
situation.”
“A few years ago I met a young
widow with a
grown up
daughter and we got married.
Later my father
married my
stepdaughter. That made my
stepdaughter my
stepmother
and my father became my
stepson.
Also my wife became mother in
law of her
father in law.
Then the daughter of my wife,
my stepmother
had a son.
This boy was my half brother
because he was
my father’s
son but he was also the son of
my wife’s
daughter, which
made him my wife’s grandson.
That made me
the
grandfather of my half brother.
This was nothing until my wife
and I had a son.
Now the half
sister of my son, my stepmother
is also the
grandmother.
This makes my father the brother
in law of my
child, whose
step sister is my fathers wife.
Thus I am my
stepmother’s
brother in law, my wife is her
own child’s aunt,
my son is my
father’s nephew and I’m my own
grandfather.
And you think you have family
problems?
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In America….. The so called developed country…. When traffic police stops you and you put your hands in the pocket, they shoot you instantly….
But here in Africa when a traffic officer stops you and you put your hands in your pockets he will start smiling like Christmas goat
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Smoke causes * CANCER *
..
Alcohol Cause *DANCER *
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Ronnie walked into a bar and saw that cheeseburgers cost R30, Hotdogs R20 and a Handjob R40. He walks towards the counter and asks the lady ;
–
Ronnie : “are you the one who does handjob?”
Lady : “Yes”
Ronnie : “ok, please wash your hands i want a cheesburger”
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Stop being a racist . Wash your
white and black clothes together
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1: So this is what I have been missing since
Omo, see fine girls for Christ Embassy, they give out their numbers easily😋🤗
I no dey go Catholic church again
🙅♂🙅♂
2: Some Churches and their funny prayers “Which one is Lord crucify me with your anointing”
🙆♂😂🤣
3: I don’t want my family to Judge the way I eat, so I walk pass them with 2 slices🍞 of bread in my plate and 17 in my pocket
🚶😂🤣
4: Ladies, if he is cheating on you, put some bricks inside your pillow and tell him you want to do pillow fight with him
😂🤣
5: Girls with K-leg be like “God direct my step”
Sister to what?🤔🤷♂
Latitude or Longitude
🙄😂🤣
6: “I spent on him, I spent him”
Nigerian girls after buying you 3-in-1 singlet and one packet of shaving stick
Mtcheww🙄🙆♂🤣
7: Dating so many girls is just a way of confusing the enemies from attacking your main girl
But girls won’t understand this
🙄😏🤗
8: You see my six packs and muscles💪then you think I got your back in a fight
Lol..These things are for Instagram, don’t get yourself Killed
😂🤣
9: Today our pastor asked us to do something CRAZY for God
So I went out and Off the Church generator
🙄🚶🚶
10: If you don’t wanna visit him, tell him straight up!
Which one is “I can’t come again ooo my dad is angry with my mum;
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Yaz Some girls have no chill shame.
They take pictures in expensive restaurants
and crop out the guy who bought food.
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A man from Venda resigned from work
after winning lotto in dreams
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