LADIES!!! LADIES!!! LADIES!!!
Wife: Honey, someone is beeping to your
phone
Husband: Who is that, would u check for
me?
Wife: No problem honey
(wife pulls phone from a charger and
checks the one who beeped)
Wife: What!!!!!? Who is this one you
saved…beautiful in your phone!!!?
Husband: Me!!!? There is no such name in
ma phone, let me see…..
Wife: See what, you know her, she is your
girlfriend… You are a cheat!!!
Husband: My sweetest wife, this is not
beautiful, its batteryfull

in America .. The So Called Developed Country , When A Traffic Police Stops You And You Put Your Hands in Your Pockets , He Shoot You instantly …
But Here in South Africa .. When A Traffic Officer Stops You And You Put Your Hands in Your Pockets , He Will Start Smiling

If a chick come to my crib & i go to the
bathroom she gotta clap until i come back,
if she stop clapping she stole something

When you marry the RIGHT woman everyday is VALENTINE’S DAY.
If u marry the WRONG one, everyday is BOXING DAY. If u go for the one with lying tongue, everyday is APRIL FOOL.
And when u choose the CHILDISH one everyday is CHILDREN’S DAY
But if u are still SINGLE like me, be grateful because everyday is INDEPENDENCE DAY

Why do ladies suddenly become
left handed after getting engaged?

They say that the new super computer knows everything. A sceptical man came and asked the computer, “Where is my father?” The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with, “Your father is fishing in Michigan.” The sceptical man said triumphantly, “You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years.” “No” replied the super computer immediately, “Your mother’s husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout!”

a son argued with his father insisting that 1+1=11…

The father looked at him and said: “Go and buy 2 boiled eggs”

The son went and returned with the 2 eggs…

The father said give one to me and one to your brother .. and the son asks: “what about me?”😕

The father responds: “Eat the remaining nine eggs that are letf….Nonsense!!”

There’s nothing more stressing than Breaking up💔 with short girl🐧.
Every time you see kids you Remember her..!

Girls think it’s cute smoking weed with their boyfriends.
he will leave you for a decent girl
then use your story for a testimony at church

Dear Mom
I am not happy with the way you spoke to me on the “2nd” of June, so on the 1st of December I am leaving your house.
.
Your Mom’s grandchild

ME: Excuse me lady, you look familiar.
HER: Yes you dated me in 2012, I was dark then.

GIRL: I want to show you something.
BOY: Okay.
GIRL: Can we go inside the bedroom?
BOY: (excited) sure, we can.
GIRL: Can I switch off the light?
BOY: Go on.
GIRL: Can I close the curtains and
windows?
BOY: (very excited) Fast!
GIRL: Can I lock the door?
BOY: Wow! Yea immediately!
GIRL: I’m done, come closer.
BOY: Here I am (this will be amazing).
GIRL: “I want to show you that my
watch has a light, you can use it to
check the time in darkness.”

I texted my ex-girl “Hi” she immediately updated her Facebook status:
“I’m doing fine without u”😐
And yet i wanted to say:
” I met your dad👳 in town wearing my jacket”