Some girls the moment you tell her “I love you” She becomes phoneless, cashless,dataless, homeless and all kinds of lessness

Her:Bbe please unlock your phone 4 me📱
Me:Bbe do u still rememmber you once cheated on me

My friend won a trip to China ✈.
He´s out there now trying to win a trip back home 😭😭
Guys learn to Read terms and conditions.

She was my crush until….

Me:Why don’t you answer my calls!!!
Her:I’m sorry i lost my Self stick

When it comes to food some girls forget
that they are females

When you throw the trash out,
do you go outside later and check how it’s doing??
•°•
No! So stop stalking your ex.”

Facebook should have VIP section for some of us who use data bundles.

My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me an onion is the only food
that makes you cry,
so I threw a coconut at his face.

In Africa we don’t need CCTV cameras,
the neighbours are enough .
if you think i’m lying bring your girlfriend at home
when your wife is not around and see

Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go shopping.

Dear Mrs. Boshoff,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over
the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.

MEMO

Re: Complaints

15 Things Mr. D Boshoff has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s
carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons
section.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
“Code 3” in housewares….. and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on
lay-by.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror
and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
“Mission Impossible” theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practised his “Madonna look” using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes
the foetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!

And; last, but not least!

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

For it is written He who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery​ “..
Similarly as we enter this cold season…
He who looks at soap and water
lustfully has already bathed!