Some Girls You Gotta Look At Them More Than Twice✌
To Make Sure They Are Really Girls..!
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I tried to drown my troubles the other night
but the wife doesn’t like swimming.
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Accounting be like
.
Themba earns 20 000 monthly salary
and he takes 100 000 loan to buy a house
.
Q_WHO KILLED STEVE BIKO (25 MARKS)
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Coca-cola 2L price in South Africa
Pick n Pay – R14.00
Adam’s shop – R18.00
Shell garage – R24.00
Traffic officer – R250.00
Licence department – R3500.00
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I found my late uncle’s SIM card on the drawer 😓 now I’m thinking of whatsapping his girlfriends and be like:👇
.
“Hey baby, I’m back”
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When I Wake Up I Just Grab My Phone📱
I Don’t Even Check If I’m Alive Or Not
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I have a proposal:
In 2018 when its time to kiss the bride at weddings, all men must make a queue to kiss her.
People should learn to share…
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I’m feeling you & you’re not feeling me & i start feeling someone else & you start feeling me, I’m not going to feel you twice, you feel me? 😊
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Girl:I am leaving you cuz u
focus too
much on football…
Boy:Are you leaving on loan or full
transfer…
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You’ll be having good time with your bae then baby mama will just call🙄be like: “Your child swallowed a shovel..!”
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Last Night i dreamt Eating Noddles Now I can’t find My Earphones
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A Guy in a hurry used the
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel..
He sat down and
noticed four buttons –
WW, WA, PP & APR…
Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it …,
He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh.
Feeling pampered ..,
He decided to press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital
A Nurse smiled & said to
him “Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.
When the machine couldn’t
find a pad on you, it went
for your balls .
Your balls are in the jar
over there..🤣
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So Zulus are claiming that Foreigners are taking their jobs
But I’ve never seen a Somalian driving a taxi
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Unfriending you on Facebook doesn’t mean we are fighting.
•~•
The content you post doesn’t add any value for my purpose for being on Facebook.🤷
•~•
Imagine spending so much on data to see you saying “best kissers have a surname that starts with letter K” everyday.💔
Like Really?
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Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!
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A Mature Lady Gets Pulled Over For Speeding
Lady: “Is There A Problem, Officer?”
Traffic Cop: “Yes Mam, I’m Afraid You Were Speeding.”
Lady: “Oh, I See.”
Cop: “Can I See Your License Please?”
Lady: “Well, I Would Give It To You But I Don’t Have One.”
Cop: “Don’t Have One?”
Lady: “No. I Lost It 4 Years Ago For Drunk Driving.”
Cop: “I See, Can I See Your Vehicle Registration Papers Please.”
Lady: “I Can’t Do That.”
Cop: “Why Not?”
Lady: “I Stole This Car.”
Cop: “Stole It?”
Lady: “Yes, And I Killed And Hacked Up The Owner.”
Cop: “You What!?”
Lady: “His Body Parts Are In Plastic Bags In The Trunk If You Want To See”
The Cop Looks At The Woman And Slowly Backs Away To His Car While Calling For Back Up.
Within Minutes 5 Police Cars Circle The Car.
A Senior Officer Slowly Approaches The Car, Clasping His Half Drawn Gun.
Officer: “Mam, Could You Step Out Of Your Vehicle Please!”
The Woman Steps Out Of Her Vehicle.
Lady: “Is There A Problem Sir?”
Officer: “My Colleague Here Tells Me That You Have Stolen This Car And Murdered The Owner.”
Lady: “Murdered The Owner? Are You Serious?!”
Officer: “Yes, Could You Please Open The Trunk Of Your Car, Please.”
The Woman Opens The Trunk, Revealing Nothing But An Empty Trunk.
Officer: “Is This Your Car, Mam?”
Lady: “Yes, Here Are The Registration Papers.”
The Cop Is Quite Stunned.
Officer: “My Colleague Claims That You Do Not Have A Driving License.”
The Woman Digs Into Her Handbag And Pulls Out A Clutch Purse And Hands It To The Officer.
The Officer Examines The License Quizzically.
Officer: “Thank You Mam, But I Am Puzzled, As I Was Told By My Officer Here That You Didn’t Have A License, That You Stole This Car, And That You Murdered And Hacked Up The Owner!”
Lady: “Bet The Lying Bastard Also Told You I Was Speeding, Too.”
So, Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies
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