A customer walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a pint of less, please.”

“Less?” queried the bartender. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know either,” said the customer, “but my doctor told me to drink less.”

U CANNOT give a woman everything she needs.
If God Himself gave them eyebrows,
they shave it and draw their own.
God gave them nails,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
God gave them* *hair,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
He gave them breast,
they repackage it to the size and shape they want.
God gave the lips,
every morning they paint it with different colours of lip stick.
*If even God can’t satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them ? 😂😂. My brother don’t kill yourself

When they say, Behind Every Successful Man there is a Woman.
They mean His Mother
Not you

I’m that kind of a guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel a bomb defuser

Women who date broke guys know the importance of eating
before leaving home!!!!

I slept at my Girlfriend’s House and in the morning she,
didn’t give me money for Transport.
I don’t understand.

Some boys Being dumped by a girl you love and
you don’t know what to say to change her mind,
you end up saying stuff like..
.
“Babe, I’m pregnant!

I just smoked weed now but nothing happens I just wasted money 😭😭
anyway happy mothers day 🏃🏃 I love you dad

That 1 toothbrush all your girlfriends use
when they come for a sleep over and each
of them thinks its hers…

So u caught your boyfriend sleeping with
another girl because u denied him sex.and
you have guts to say he’s cheating?
My sister that’s very wicked an selfish!!
“If there’s no electricity use generators”

The food that I ate in my dreams last night had no taste😒..
so tonight I’m sleeping with salt

Man : “bby the way I love you,
I would even swim through an ocean just for you”
–
Woman : “Really honey?”
–
Man : “No I’m kidding dear, there are sharks in there”