On judgement day I’ll be wearing a Zimbabwean flag to notify jesus that i cant go to hell twice

Me:its over.
Her: But you said only death could do us apart.
Me :We did not specify whose death will do us apart
anyway I just lost my granny, its over.

There Are Two Ways of
Washing Blankets…
–
Whites: Washing Machine♻🕐
.
Blacks: 👣👣👣👣👣
.

I stopped watching Nigerian movies wen I saw that witch tasting her poison to make sure that it was enough….for the how Mara!

Top 10 Female rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.😅

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.😁

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.😋

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?🤗

5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.😊

6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.😊

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.😂

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.🤗

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.😊

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.😊
–
–
–
Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.😁

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.😅

So u caught your boyfriend sleeping with
another girl because u denied him sex.and
you have guts to say he’s cheating?
My sister that’s very wicked an selfish!!
“If there’s no electricity use generators”

I hate it when people confuse education with intelligence,
you can have a degree and still be an idiot.

Before: they said to be robbed of you, just not being burned out…
Now: you have a fire.. you are still stealing.
…
Before: when burned, it will help with the fire.
Now: Let’s visit a fire video.
..
Before: Children, go into the house, there are some Japanese!
Today: Children, get undressed, there are some Japanese!
..
Noon: Pray before meals.
Today: selfie before meals.
..
Before: when flooding lumilikas
Now: when flooding, picture picture post on Facebook plus instagram.
..
Before: many men are so handsome
Today: many handsome men are so handsome
..
Before: a lot of gentle girls
Today: there are many gentle men amputik!!!
..
Before: if it’s nice to court you right away.
Now: if you look good at first, maybe gay,
..
Before: if handsome, womanizer
Now: even a ugly womanizer, sometimes it is still choosy! Shameless face!
..
Before: wait for the moon before getting married!
Now: wait wait for the stomach before marriage.
..
Before… not all women beautiful
Today… not all beautiful girls
..
The courtship before and now
Before: separated wood, water water, climbing wild
Now: Find, talk, deal
..
It was still a trend to serenade..
Now sit, story and pagkatayo, you!
..
Before: if you’re not in the group, you’re caught in the topic
Now: if you’re not in the group, you are the topic

A man who knows what he want will never date 2 girls….
He will date atleast 4 to 7 girls😂😂😂

😂🙌Febing at its best…!!!!!!

Teacher: Jack, Go to the map and find North America.

Jack: Here it is

Teacher: Good Jack. Now class who discovered North America?

Class: Jack.

She took off her jeans, threw it to me and said: “Make me feel like a woman🍆🍑” and I removed my trouser, threw it to her and said: “Wash them both..!”