Thandeka I came to your place n heard you watching p**n,
so I went back coz I didn’t want to interrupt

You can never organise a surprise party with Xhosa people
because they’ll go to that person and say
we’re coming to your surprise party next week

When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of
questions….!!
One Day I asked Ms. Doris, our English
teacher:”
Why do.we ignore some letters in
pronunciation. eg the letter….’H’…….in Hour,
Honest, Honor….. e.t.c………???”
Ms. Doris: “We are not ignoring them; they
are considered silent.” …!!
(I was even more confused…..
….??)
During the lunch break, MS. Doris gave me
her packed
lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her an empty
container….!!
Ms. Doris:—- “What happened, I told you to
go and HEAT my food & you are returning
me an empty container??”
Me: — “.Madam I thought ‘H’ was silent”

Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

The fact that a BUS driver can STOP to pick you where there’s NO BUS STOP,
But the same driver will REFUSE to drop you
where there’s NO BUS STOP,
Proves that people ONLY need you
when it’s BENEFICIAL to them.

When She’s Explaining How Her Man Played Her,,
And You Gotta Act Surprise Like Aint Gonna Do The Same

No woman can control me
no woman can control me
but when she says go lock the door first
you fly like a bird

what is the opposite of Transparent

👶Transchildren

The way am so broke
Am even thinking of going to a loan shark and
borrow a couple of thousands then do a protection order against him

I went 2 see a friend from a very rich family. D maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & asked.
MAID: What would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
ME: White. …
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or still water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: Entlek get me an empty glass

Your importance in a black family is when
you bring in money. Expect the worst
when you’re unemployed.

7 years old kids have iphone📱now🙆,but when i was 7 years old, i had a phone📱 that goes like “tring tring!How are you? whoof whoof! ayaya iyaya! parapapa”.

That Awkward Moment When You Realize You’re Walking In The Wrong Direction..
.
So You Hit Your Pockets Pretending You Forgot Something